[RPGWizard]

Uh-oh, you just opened a can of worms. Well, here it goes.

I am a very weak person with next to no self-confidence. I don't like being with other people, and I don't like being at parties. So sometime ago (I can't remember exactly when), I invented a new side to myself -- a front I can use so that I am not afraid (at least on the outside). This is what I refer to as my pride. This pride holds me to a certain standard and mandates what is considered weak and strong. Because of my pride, I am able to lead a normal life more or less. If you walked up to me on the street and started talking to me, you would find that I can carry on a conversation and smile at you reassuringly just as well as the next man. But inside, behind that front, I'm actually scared ****less. My goal is to slowly become the image that my pride invokes -- a person who is not afraid of anything or anyone -- a person who doesn't give a damn about what others think of him and can live independently of others.

Unfortunately, the real me is nothing like the image that my pride manifests. As I said before, I am weak. I do care about what others think of me, and I know that I can't survive without help from others. I'm afraid that no one will ever love me, and I'm angry that the jack-off, retard guys around me can get practically any girl they want.

Most people in my situation would probably commit suicide, I imagine. But I can't. My pride is the only thing that is holding me back from giving up. I CANNOT lose this pride. Whever I think about giving up on life, my pride has an automatic life-preservation mechanism that kicks in. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I am able to use my pride to change my feelings into aggression towards the outside world. I say to myself, "If they don't love me and don't want to be my friends, then they can just die."

Well that's me in a nutshell. I guess you could compare my pride to the speaker in "Sad but true" by Metallica. I've never told anyone else about this before, so you guys are the only ones that know, and I hope it stays that way. The reason why I don't get therapy or drugs is that I would have to reveal myself to someone else. I would have to throw away my pride and show how weak I truly am. In that case, I'm afraid about what would happen. As I said before, this pride has kept me from thinking about giving up or committing suicide, so it serves its purpose.

I am nearly the same way as you, although I dealt with my depression and got rid of it at an early stage of life (I distinctly remember contemplating suicide with a knife to my belly at the age of 8, and a distinctive personality shift at around the age of 12-13, although I inherently remained nearly the same person).

I think what I finally understood is that I had something more to live for. Whatever that something is, I don't know, but I'm more than ready to live for it. If all I ever do is help out those around me to have a better life than if I weren't there, then it will have been worth going on.

Honestly, as long as you stand up for yourself without "talking ****" needlessly, and you do your best to talk to women when the opportunity arises, you'll most likely be just fine. Every guy you've seen who "gets every girl he wants" has been rejected far more times than you have. It's more a matter of determination and being open with others that gets him the women (Although part of it is looks, looks DO NOT have everything to do with it). Also, remember that a woman is a person just like you are a person, with the same amount, if not type, of insecurities as you have.

Also, if you feel you're being annoying to others, find out what it is that may be annoying those people. Ask them if you're being annoying and what it is they find annoying. If they won't give you a straight answer or they say, "No.", then you're either not annoying to them or they need to sort out their problem with you on their own.....Either that or their problem with you isn't a big enough issue that they feel you need to change because they have that problem with you.

I used to be a withdrawn person, but where I am in my life right now, I'm tending to be more outspoken and direct with people. If someone's blatantly in my space or annoying me, I tell them straight up. If they're not listening to me, I'll yell. If they're being annoying, I tell them to cut it out.

I suppose that part of my "coming out of my shell" has been due to me starting to drink about 8 months ago. Since alcohol, at least for me, removes many of my inhibitions, I've said things that I wouldn't have said otherwise, and those experiences (What I've remembered, anyway ) have been used as a base for my current reactions and actions in my everyday life.

I'm not telling you to start drinking or go to parties. Do what you want to do. My point is that a person can change, at least over time. It may take a while, but if you want to change who you are and how you act, you only have to make it happen.

P.S. Zoloft has caused problems for my mother as well (She had depression for many years, although [I believe, as does she] she's got rid of it now). Consume carefully, and also remember that sometimes the medicine is more an illness than your illness.

 

[proger]

Im depressed alot. Ive tried alot of medicines - like 6. So, basicly i just act happy, but usually im not.

 

[Unicron]

only recently did I realize that most of what I percieved as being happiness in my life was really nothing more than humor. I discovered the difference, want to change it, but I'll keep what humor I have...I need it

...Honestly, as long as you stand up for yourself without "talking ****" needlessly, and you do your best to talk to women when the opportunity arises, you'll most likely be just fine...

I dont take **** anymore, not like I use to. Im not huge now, but at 6'5" 210 (16% BF) Im big enough that most dont screw with me. But, I'm a nice guy at heart.

 

[cooliscool]

It hasn't always been that way. I guess my problem stems from when I was in grade school. Many kids made fun of me, and I experienced a lot of rejection. Go figure.

*sigh* Same here, which lead to unfathomable amounts of depression in recent years.. It's gotten better though since I've been on Zoloft, to be honest.. part of being rejected is being "shy" .. I can now start conversations and feel completely at ease.

Giving the meds a couple weeks to get into your system is really the only way to get the "help" you need, I guarantee you after it does, you'll feel so much better. It's also part mental--if you think it's going to work for you, much higher the chance of it actually working. Only real noticable side-effect is a big sex drive, but it's nigh impossible to reach the .. shall I say, high-point?

 

[Unicron]

*sigh* Same here, which lead to unfathomable amounts of depression in recent years.. It's gotten better though since I've been on Zoloft, to be honest.. part of being rejected is being "shy" .. I can now start conversations and feel completely at ease.

Giving the meds a couple weeks to get into your system is really the only way to get the "help" you need, I guarantee you after it does, you'll feel so much better. It's also part mental--if you think it's going to work for you, much higher the chance of it actually working. Only real noticable side-effect is a big sex drive, but it's nigh impossible to reach the .. shall I say, high-point?

I've only been experiencing the depression shortly periodically for the last six months. Honestly, it kinda sucked waking up in the morning and calling myself a pu55y 4-5 times before I finished my shower for being on the verge of crying that time. I'm tough on myself but its kinda how I cope with it.

I dont know if it was busting my ass last night with cardio at karate class or if its the meds but thus far today I've been on the top of the world like I havent seen in a VERY long time. I was very comfortable and relaxed in my class this morning. We'll see in the next couple of days.

 

[ChankastRules]

These are not directed to any of you in particular but just my thoughts about depression and things like that in general.

While I've haven't got any experiance of this myself, quite a few of the people I know have. Basically what most people do, is hide in a shell, and quit being themselves, also they take effort to be like others want them to be and not be themselves in order to be liked. ( In the end most of them got stuck in front of their computer most of the day, without going out at all. )

It's important to get out and do stuff, meet people and not worry what they'll think of you, after all it doesn't really matter, if you're afraid to lose a friend because of being someone you're not, that person wasn't your friend in the first place.

-----

Finally about cute girls, I guess most men get nervous around them, there's a cure for it, try talking to them, and realise they're people just like anyone else, and spend time around them. After all cute girls ( check the babes thread for example ) is one of the best things in life ( YES ) life would be so dull without them!

 

[The Captain]

These are not directed to any of you in particular but just my thoughts about depression and things like that in general.

While I've haven't got any experiance of this myself, quite a few of the people I know have. Basically what most people do, is hide in a shell, and quit being themselves, also they take effort to be like others want them to be and not be themselves in order to be liked. ( In the end most of them got stuck in front of their computer most of the day, without going out at all. )

Perhaps. But what is worse? Not being yourself, or being alone? I don't want to be alone.

 

[Unicron]

the only thing more I want in life is a woman. That is getting closer and closer to changing tho.

 

[Kaiser Sigma]

Perhaps. But what is worse? Not being yourself, or being alone? I don't want to be alone.

Actually you are wrong... what is worse? That is up to the person. I am who I want to be and that leads to loneliness (and I don't mean it on a way worthy of a telenovela I really mean it... I'm on my own for good) and there is not a single night when I wage my personality against the fact that I am alone that my personality doesn't come up on top... for me the greatest pleasure in life comes from being who and what I want to be.

Am I right? Not entirely. That's just the truth I've found... yours differs greatly and with reason. Just be mindful that there is no absolute in here. Nothing is black or white... therefore you can't say what is worse than something...

 

[Unicron]

To each man, his own truth.

 

[Dark Watcher]

Wow...we didn't realize so many of the youth are seeking medical treatments such as Zoloft. Perhaps it says much about the current times we live in. Not to say we are bashing Zoloft users...If it helps then it helps...but it makes you wonder how people like ourselves make it through life without such assistance.

Now don't read too much into that statement, and think we are saying we are better then most.. (Are ego does that on their own)..What we are merely trying to say is to use the meds for some help, but use it as a step to seek out your own cure. People develop over reliance on such products, and the reports of alternate effects are discouraging.
We were once prone to depression...we all are at any given point in life...but we have learned to overcome it well before such products were made so readily available..Use it as a booster..it is not a cure...

<rant mode on>
The steady stream of drugs in these days are frightening...People don't take the time to raise energetic kids anymore...They just use Ridalin (Some kids may need it, but in most cases the benefits are abused). These kids grow up, and become adults that need various forms of downers and uppers...all also readily available...Damn....it is kind of sad..we would cry, but we may need to use that new drug that promotes tear duct enhancement...you know...the one with side effects that may cause strokes or rashes.....bah...nevermind...<rant mode off> *DW waits for Boltz to preach the benefits of science*

 

[Kaiser Sigma]

but it makes you wonder how people like ourselves make it through life without such assistance.

Because we are freaken hot and have an ubber charming personality...

 

[n0estoy]

great thread guys. i would contribute but i have nothing to add.

 

[Unicron]

meh, I went to my second therapy session today. I guess I have fewer problems than I thought, there wasnt much to talk about. I'll have another in 2 weeks. I'll continue the meds for a few months though.

 

[Boltzmann]

*DW waits for Boltz to preach the benefits of science*

Don't expect a long rant here. Current research on mood altering drugs still on a very primitive stage. Although currently available drugs can be of great help to people with depression, bipolar disorder, ADD and the like, they're akin to a shaman's herbal remedies, when you take into account the state our neuroscience knowledge.

The research procedures are not very sophisticated (try every kind of substance in animals, until you find one that apppears to work; then begin the clinical trials in humans; in 8-10 years you'll have a drug that works with a large number of people, with some side-effects. This is if you're lucky. If not, you'll have wasted millions in R&D and will have to start all over again. It's no wonder that research on new drugs has been slow going as of late.) Only when we increase our knowledge of brain chemistry and neuroanatomy is that we'll be able to truly manipulate our moods, and finally get rid of things such as depression.

That's why I support initiatives such as David Pearce's Hedonistic Imperative . Pearce defends the eradication of all human suffering, and voluntary, volitional mood control is paramount to his vision. Read the abstract of his paper to have a taste of this future (the whole paper is somewhat big, but very interesting).

When we reach this stage, I'll be really interested in psychiatric drugs.

 

[Kiroshi]

Wow...we didn't realize so many of the youth are seeking medical treatments such as Zoloft. Perhaps it says much about the current times we live in.

It does say something about the times we live in dosnt it. I know alot of depressed people and alot of my friends are the same way. Most of it is caused by school and family issues.

I have alot of issues that could cause me to be depressed but just the attitude I have and the way I look at things my problems dont get to me on that level.

 

[The Captain]

Wow...we didn't realize so many of the youth are seeking medical treatments such as Zoloft. Perhaps it says much about the current times we live in.

My generation has no great war and nothing really apparent to fight for. We're a generation that has been doomed by reality tv shows and the promise that $ always makes things better. But we have seen through the lies and know that $ won't make us happy.

Do you know want I want to do? I want to be a game designer. But that probably won't happen. More than likely, I'll be stuck in a cubicle for the remainder of my life writing code just so that some guy's stock will raise a tenth of a point. Then I will take the money I get from my job and buy **** that I don't need in the first place, just to make myself feel secure or to impress people I don't really care about in the first place. This is the dilemma that I face, and I think many other people from my generation face it also.

We want to be challenged in life. We want to live our lives with zest as if we were on fire (no wait, that wouldn't be good :lol: ). I want to get up everyday and have something to fight for -- feel like I have a purpose. But I am denied that. IMO, that is the real issue our generation faces.

 

[caipirinha]

Just get up everyday and think about fighting to be the happiest you can that day, to make the most out of it, and to be a better person than you were yesterday.

 

[netghost2.0]

*DW waits for Boltz to preach the benefits of science*

Boltzmann won't do it, but I will since everybody seem to hold several misconceptions of pharmacotherapy and depression.

Wow...we didn't realize so many of the youth are seeking medical treatments such as Zoloft. Perhaps it says much about the current times we live in. Not to say we are bashing Zoloft users...If it helps then it helps...but it makes you wonder how people like ourselves make it through life without such assistance.

Study medicine and do a round or two in psychiatry and see if you still maintain that opinion. There's a difference between feeling "depressed" and having a "major depressive episode" as diagnosed in DSM-IV.

http://www.mental-health-today.com/dep/dsm.htm

The majority of us who feel "blue" or "down" once in a while don't meet the stated DSM-IV criteria. Hence, it's comparing apples and oranges when comparing the "normal population" who suffer periodic bouts of depression to those who suffer from Major Depression.

Ask any credible doctor and I can guarantee you that they will state that it is a serious issue and has a genetic basis. It's not a matter of "will power" or "weakness" and if you're implying that, shame on you and your ignorance on the subject matter. "People like ourselves who make it through life without such assistance" (to paraphrase you) probably don't have the same neuronal or neurotransmitter deficits which patients with Major Depressive Disorders have.

Everybody feels "depressed" at one point of their life or another. What you fail to differentiate is that periodic episodes of "depression" do not constitute a major depressive disorder.

Deficits in norepinephrine (NE) and serotonin (to a lesser extent) have been highly correlated with patients diagnosed with major depressive disorders. In depressive patients, there has been deficits and reduced neuronal activity in the prefrontal cortex. Social and environmental factors are a contributing factor to major depressive disorders, however, genetics and neurological deficits play a greater role in the onset of depression. In short, genetics and biology can lead to much greater vuneralibility to major depression when confronted with major traumatic life events.

In addition, Zoloft is a Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor (SSRI). It has far less adverse affects than MAOIs or TCAs or other antidepressents (ADs). Dangers of overdosing on SSRIs are minimal relative to other ADs.

Now don't read too much into that statement, and think we are saying we are better then most.. (Are ego does that on their own)..What we are merely trying to say is to use the meds for some help, but use it as a step to seek out your own cure. People develop over reliance on such products, and the reports of alternate effects are discouraging.
We were once prone to depression...we all are at any given point in life...but we have learned to overcome it well before such products were made so readily available..Use it as a booster..it is not a cure...

Again, you fail to differentiate between periodic episodes of "depression" and "major depressive disorder". No credible doctor will ever just recommend pharmacotherapy as the sole means for treatment. Pharmacotherapy plus Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy (CBT) or psychotherapy is the ideal means to treat Depression. However, that being said, the usage of antidepressants to treat Depression has an undeservingly maligned reputation.

Also, we have not "learned to overcome it well before such products". The sensitivity of screening patients with major depression has increased to the point where clinical practitioners are able to diagnose people with depression who would otherwise not be treated. There are risks of misdiagnoses and there is an increased chance of Malingering and Factitious Disorders (people consiously faking somatic symptoms for treatment or other defined purposes), however, current medical literature has shown these cases are not as widespread as some in the media would portray it to be.

Have you seen people with severe major depression? Obviously not. What you haven't seen is the drastic changes in people who have taken SSRIs, MAOIs, TCAs, etc. who are able to function normally and live fairly happily after being prescribed meds. As you mentioned, there are problems of substance dependence and the "rebound effect", however, those risks are small when compared to the risk of suicide and inability to function in one's social, occupational, or recreational activities.

 

[Proto]

That's why I support initiatives such as David Pearce's Hedonistic Imperative . Pearce defends the eradication of all human suffering, and voluntary, volitional mood control is paramount to his vision. Read the abstract of his paper to have a taste of this future (the whole paper is somewhat big, but very interesting).

Hmmm.... this smells a little fishy to me. I agree with the part that people should be free to achieve happiness in the way they want, and when the article comments about the use of bioengineering to increase our happiness capabilities without actually hampering the good sides of our human nature, I cannot help but agreeing wholeheartly. Moreover, the idea of attacking the major problems that humanity suffers in such a way will immediately improve our life standars in an unparalleled way.... at first.

However, I'm on the side that thinks that a society that gives itself to universal bliss won't last much. Most of the radical changes that both the evolution chain and the human species have seen are due to the facing of a problem that produces a dissatisfaction/obstacle and requires an effort/change to surpass it.

While the article never suggests that in such a happiness covered world this obstacles that enrich ourselves will never happen again, we can still make an analogy with the fact that there seems to be an inverse relationship between happiness and a desire for change (it could be rephrased for intelligence under some circumstances...) Even though I'm risking antrophormization, usually a state of happiness produces a sense of satisfaction that radically increases our desire to perfectly couple with the current system. Great people throughtout history have been those that are always seeking for more, that are NEVER satisfied or happy with what they have (which usually leads to tragic and unhappy lives...), but nevertheless, such are the people that produces changes. So in a world where there is a constant state of happiness, dissatisfaction will decrease and decrease, bringing a period of staticness (and we can see this kind of pattern with the rise and downfalls of all the major civilizations)

That's why I say that I'm not against the use and research of such kind of products. (on the contrary, I believe that this kind of investigations will be crucial for the developing of other areas) instead, I'm afraid of societies whose whole purpose of existance turns to be the obtaning and mantaining of this so called panacea.