WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is
either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
AL GORE
Immediately after I was born in a modest log cabin that I built with my
own hands in Tennessee, I invented the chicken. I also invented the
road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the
application of these two different functions of government in a new,
reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American
people.
RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted
by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the
unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed
by the wheels of a Gas-Guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was
getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out
there is already forming a support group to help chickens with
Crossing-the-Road Syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this
can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their
tax dollars -- and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money
-- money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to
cross.
JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was ***! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
side." That's what they call it "the other side." Yes, my friends, that
chicken is ***. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become *** too. I
say we boycott all chickens 'til we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the
other side."
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
-- But why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the
death its right to do it.
RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?
CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens
have to cross before you believe it?
SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES
I have just released e-Chicken 2003, which will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook, and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of e-Chicken.
MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
chicken?
BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken?
Could you define "chicken," please?
COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?
Saw this on the Xteam site and had to post it here.. Funny..
GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is
either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
AL GORE
Immediately after I was born in a modest log cabin that I built with my
own hands in Tennessee, I invented the chicken. I also invented the
road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the
application of these two different functions of government in a new,
reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American
people.
RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted
by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the
unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed
by the wheels of a Gas-Guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was
getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out
there is already forming a support group to help chickens with
Crossing-the-Road Syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this
can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their
tax dollars -- and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money
-- money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to
cross.
JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was ***! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
side." That's what they call it "the other side." Yes, my friends, that
chicken is ***. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become *** too. I
say we boycott all chickens 'til we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the
other side."
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
-- But why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the
death its right to do it.
RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?
CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens
have to cross before you believe it?
SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES
I have just released e-Chicken 2003, which will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook, and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of e-Chicken.
MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
chicken?
BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken?
Could you define "chicken," please?
COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?
Saw this on the Xteam site and had to post it here.. Funny..
