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Discussion Starter #1
Something peculiar happened tonight.. I've been bedridden all day cause I've been a little under the weather, and I had to get out of the house at some point, so I took a pretty late walk. Around 1.45 am I was about 10-15 minutes from home, when this girl was walking towards me, on the sidewalk. Pardon me, WOMAN. Political correctness will be the death of me.. Anyway, as she came closer, she crossed the road in a hurry, and I know... I KNOW that it was because she felt unsafe, and didn't wanna walk on the same side as me. The reason I know this, is because the only thing on the other side, was a bus stop (No buses at that time), and a PITCH BLACK road, about a mile long. She didn't wear any reflexes, so taking that road would be stupid. Granted, I came from that road.. But I have a strong flashlight in my pocket.

Now, I see two sides to this. I understand her side of the thing. A lot of guys are assholes, and they are the reason she felt unsafe. But a HELL of a lot more guys (At least I hope so) are NOT. I would never dream to do anything to harm her, or any other girl.. Woman. (Why is "girl" offensive, again? I'm a boy. I'm also a man. WHAT is the problem here?). Hell, I did everything I could to not make the situation worse for her. I didn't say anything (I wanted to utter something like "Paranoid much?" or "Not all guys are shady, y'know", or "Hey, I'm just as skeptical to you as you are to me"), I didn't follow her with my eyes, I didn't look behind me, because I KNEW that could send the wrong signals. Now, I know I didn't do anything wrong. But because of sleazy assholes who give men a bad rep, she felt unsafe. On one hand, I feel offended (Holy shit, I got triggered, lol) because she would think that of me.. If you were there, I'm 100% positive you would interpret the situation in the same way, and know I'm not totally crazy.

On the other hand.. I advice my ex not to go out late at night, because I know people like that exist. I've had to talk to guys, both before and after our breakup, who's been sleazy to her. My mom was in a relationship with someone who was abusive, tormented her, raped her, stabbed her.. I KNOW what is out there.

I have a daughter who is 3.5 years old. And the thought of her being scared when she's walking alone late at night as a teenager or young adult, makes me anxious. If guys wanna fuck so badly, yank one out, get a fucktoy or pay for it. I know there is a lot of bullshit in that kind of work, but I'm sure there are certain... Channels you can go through, which is safer for the working WOMEN. I don't support it, but it has to be better than raping and killing strangers in the middle of the night?

I dunno, for all I know, maybe I read the situation totally wrong, but that's the angle I got from it.
 

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On one hand, I feel offended (Holy shit, I got triggered, lol) because she would think that of me.. If you were there, I'm 100% positive you would interpret the situation in the same way, and know I'm not totally crazy.
You're not totally crazy, but you also need to understand it's not about you.
She doesn't know you, she doesn't know who you are. Maybe you're a great guy. Maybe you're not. She's just walking through the streets at 2am. She's not out there to insult you, but she's also not out there to acknowledge how good you are.

Considering what you've mentioned about your ex, you know that even if she meets 100 guys, it only takes one truly bad guy to ruin her day. Or her year. Or her life.
That's why I mention it's not about you: she doesn't know the guys she'll briefly come across the street, she doesn't know who's good or bad, so she just avoids it. You know who you are, you've spent a lifetime with yourself, but she hasn't. She's not making a judgment about you, she just knows it's safer on average to walk away from people at 2am.

If I walk at night and I see a big group of people coming down the sidewalk, and I can easily switch to the other side, I do it. It's not because I'm afraid they're gonna gang-rape me. I just think: if I encounter 50 groups like that in a year by not switching sides, but only 5 groups a year by switching sides, why not switch? There isn't a 1 in 50 chance of getting a free car by meeting them, it's either a neutral "we just walk" or a rare "they're drunk and annoying and want to drag me into their shit".

Ultimately, it's just people walking in the streets, it's something simple. Not worth over-analyzing it.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
You're not totally crazy, but you also need to understand it's not about you.
She doesn't know you, she doesn't know who you are. Maybe you're a great guy. Maybe you're not. She's just walking through the streets at 2am. She's not out there to insult you, but she's also not out there to acknowledge how good you are.

Considering what you've mentioned about your ex, you know that even if she meets 100 guys, it only takes one truly bad guy to ruin her day. Or her year. Or her life.
That's why I mention it's not about you: she doesn't know the guys she'll briefly come across the street, she doesn't know who's good or bad, so she just avoids it. You know who you are, you've spent a lifetime with yourself, but she hasn't. She's not making a judgment about you, she just knows it's safer on average to walk away from people at 2am.

If I walk at night and I see a big group of people coming down the sidewalk, and I can easily switch to the other side, I do it. It's not because I'm afraid they're gonna gang-rape me. I just think: if I encounter 50 groups like that in a year by not switching sides, but only 5 groups a year by switching sides, why not switch? There isn't a 1 in 50 chance of getting a free car by meeting them, it's either a neutral "we just walk" or a rare "they're drunk and annoying and want to drag me into their shit".

Ultimately, it's just people walking in the streets, it's something simple. Not worth over-analyzing it.
You make some valid points, and I can relate to what you're saying about seeing a group of people, because I tend to avoid those late at night. But I still feel that it's a bit unfair to generalize, because I'm also a person walking out in the middle of the night seeing a stranger. But also, I know that we live in a world where unfortunately mostly women have a reason to feel unsafe at night, because of shitty, shitty people. It sucks, but that's just the way it is, I suppose. Maybe it would've helped if I had my Buffy T-shirt on, lol.
 

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Why are you complaining? There's no more trust in the world, that's just the way it is.

What if she'd walked up to you, then started screaming RAPE! You would be locked up very quickly, with little chance of getting released.

You should be feeling fortunate, instead of being the victim of some imagined insult.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Why are you complaining? There's no more trust in the world, that's just the way it is.

What if she'd walked up to you, then started screaming RAPE! You would be locked up very quickly, with little chance of getting released.

You should be feeling fortunate, instead of being the victim of some imagined insult.
Well, isn't that special. I was in no way complaining. I was discussing my thoughts in the, get ready for this shit.. "OPEN DISCUSSION" part of the forum. I don't feel like a victim, that is just you projecting. You're probably just trying to start shit because you're bored, or something I said offended you. I was DISCUSSING my side of the thing, and her side. You are not discussing, you're just throwing shade (And failing). Thank you, next.
 
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