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The ChinaDude!!!
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3,930 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
good old fashioned maggot fun. (yes i posted it somehwhere else before :eyemove: )
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It all started when i felt an urge to eat something. Emptiness, a primal urge. My desire for fat became almost uncontrollable. I used my last of my concience to see what could be done about it, and ran downstairs. There, my greatest nightmare came true. "WTFOMG!?"
There were no more chocolate-cookies. Quickly, i ran upstairs, got my shotgun, lotsa shells, and my patented Shotgun-glove (WTF?!), for singlehanded shotgunning. I would be needing that very hard in the next couple of minutes. Everyone knows shotguns work wonders against zombies.
First, i would need to assess the situation outside. It was bad, very bad. Zombies everywhere. they just respawned when i looked outside. All out to get me. preventing me form getting cookies. "WTF!? this isn't a game"
I learned my lessons from my previous crashed car, and bought a new car/tank. "Truck-proof to 90mph". Zombies would not be a problem this way.
I gently start my car and start racing to the nearest village for the local store, running/shooting zombies over in the process. At each trafficlight, the mini-game "shoot the zombie" started. My shot-glove reloaded while i was shooting for more gore. More zombies. suddenly, my glove informs me with a sexy voice: "Warning, you are out of shells... see your local vendor" and i yell "No more shells?! WTFOMG!?". I gently press the accelerator, and with burning tracks, i sped through the red light, zombie trucks couldn't harm my car/tank anyway.

After a couple of days of racing, i finally reached the local store, armed with EMG-2000 Plasma-turrets, for enhanced zombie-frying. Because i had so many zombie-corpses on my hood, it shot me too, but i was too fast. Seems my car was turret-proof too. Immediatly, the store manager shows up to start *****ing to me "you destoryed company property, now pay mucho juarez"

"[jedi mind trick]it's not my fault you have n00b turrets. Give me shotgun shells, and my cookies dammit, else i'll take out the rest of your turrets too[/jedi mind trick]" So he gave me the shells and cookies, and i thanked him by destroying a turret by gently racing off the parking lot. Blood and guts everywhere... "WTF?! must've hit a little kid, soon to be zombie" i chuckle "he didn't see it coming, and i didn't get hurt, everybody is happy"

After a couple of minutes of intense gentle racing, i get home again, and eat my cookies. Zombies are out to get the cookies. But they are not gonna get in my cookies. I doze off after eating....
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The story above is how it would go in my fantasy getting cookies. Sure of hell beats just getting in the store you would live next to. Slaying zombies for a living :mg:

Note: the humle author is aware of minor inconsistencies. :laugh:
So, what was the most exiting you did last summer?
 

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The Hunter
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15,879 Posts
I don't know what's a bigger WTF, your story and 'strange' mind, or the fact you're here again :p

Someone check on ChrisRay ;)
 

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!!!METAL UNCLE!!!
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1,951 Posts
WTF!? oO


:lol:
 

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The ChinaDude!!!
Joined
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3,930 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Don't expect it to be permanent. Real life has strong grips on me nowadays. I didn't lose my whackyness. I did lose a car, i did lose a job. Almost lost my life losing my car.
I survived without a scratch.

I looked very cool crashing my car. People were scared to hell, but hey, it's me. Of course people are scared to hell. It's my job.

Anything else funny? hmmzz, i didn't get a sex-transplant, i didn't spontaneously combust.... i think. My dog ran a truck over. the truck is now in hospital getting over the shock of being pwned by the dog. A mouse ate my dog. I shot the mouse, took me an army of hentai tentacles to do so.

But for the rest, i think i'm fine. for now... :p
 

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The ChinaDude!!!
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3,930 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Really, i am taking it easy right now. I should post my famous picture here... but i'll not commit that horror at this stage.
 

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Okama Way!
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352 Posts
OMGWTF not your picture, anything but that. actually it is my dream to one day have hair like yours :p though hopefully mine won't eat my brain and turn me into a child-running-over-crazed-shotgun-guy
 

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The Hunter
Joined
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15,879 Posts
Evil_Neko said:
woopsee double post :p
Ever noticed that in the 'edit post' menu there is the option of deleting your post? :rolleyes:
 

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The ChinaDude!!!
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3,930 Posts
Discussion Starter · #13 ·
no, else he would already have removed it ;)

/me tries to doublepost, only to find out he made 2 lines in 1 post
 

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The Hunter
Joined
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15,879 Posts
Eface said:
no, else he would already have removed it ;)

/me tries to doublepost, only to find out he made 2 lines in 1 post
That's what the :rolleyes: smilie is for ;)

ArchIBaLD you really don't know what you're asking for :p
 

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The ChinaDude!!!
Joined
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3,930 Posts
Discussion Starter · #17 ·
You are too ngemu-n00b to comprehend what horror that picture was. As even young ones now see ogrish, rotten and stile project, my picture isn't that much horror anymore. But back then in the days, it was. Yes, i did do some serious mental damage back then. Kaiser is the un-living proof of it :evil:

Maybe now it still is. When i find it. Somewhere. Maybe. If it's not lost. By chance. Occasionally... :laugh:
 

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The Hunter
Joined
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15,879 Posts
It's one you'll never forget once you've seen it :evil:
 

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The ChinaDude!!!
Joined
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3,930 Posts
Discussion Starter · #19 ·
/me stabs cid with an eiffeltower

No posting in the same minute as me behatch :evil:
 

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The Hunter
Joined
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15,879 Posts
hmm that's a new experience xD

Did you notice I have exactly 101 posts more :innocent:
 
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