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ORDERING PIZZA IN 2008

This is just around the corner..


Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national

ID number?

Customer: Hi, I'd like to place an order.

Operator: I must have your NIDN first, sir.
>
> >>Customer: My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's
>
> >6102049998-45-54610.
>
> >>Operator: Thank you Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland
>
> >Drive, and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln
>
> >Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number is 266-2566. Email address is
>
> >[email protected] . Which number are you calling
>
> >from sir?
>
> >>Customer: Huh? I'm at home. Where'd you get all this information?
>
> >>Operator: We're wired into the HSS, sir.
>
> >>Customer: The HSS, what is that?
>
> >>Operator: We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This
>
> >will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time.
>
> >>Customer: (sighs) Oh well, I'd like to order a couple of your
>
> >All-Meat Special pizzas.
>
> >>Operator: I don't think that's a good idea, sir.
>
> >>Customer: Whaddya mean?
>
> >>Operator: Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that
>
> >you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your
>
> >National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice.
>
> >>Customer: What?!?! What do you recommend, then?
>
> >>Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it.
>
> >>Customer: What makes you think I'd like something like that?
>
> >>Operator: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion.
>
> >>Customer: All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your
> four kids.
>
> >Your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99.
>
> >>Customer: Lemme give you my credit card number.
>
> >>Operator: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash.
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> >Your credit card balance is over its limit.
>
> >>Customer: I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here.
>
> >>Operator: That won't work either, sir. Your checking account is
>
> >overdrawn also.
>
> >>Customer: Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready.
>
> >How long will it take?
>
> >>Operator: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45
>
> >minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick'em up while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward.
>
> >>Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?
>
> >>Operator: It says here you're in arrears on your car
>
> >payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday.
>
> >>Customer: Well, I'll be a #%#^^&$%^[email protected]#
>
> >>Operator: I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've
>
> >already got a July 4, 2003, conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here in September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge Oh yes, I see here that you just got out from a 90-day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?
>
> >>Customer: (speechless)
>
> >>Operator: Will there be anything else, sir?
>
> >>Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2-liter of Coke.
>
> >>Operator: I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this.
>
> >Thank you for calling Pizza Hut.
 

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Super Moderator
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6,283 Posts
Welcome to the land of freedom :p
 

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Registered
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24 Posts
lol

That was a nice read. I could imagine something like that happening in the future.

/me dreams abou the future *drools*
 

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Retired
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8,882 Posts
If the conservatives have their way, such future is not that far off. That's why I always support progressive social activism and technology advocacy ;)

BTW, nice text over there :)
 

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Emulation Junkie
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828 Posts
Say bye-bye to privacy....sheesh
 

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!!!METAL UNCLE!!!
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1,951 Posts
ICK! This makes my "Big Brother watching" syndrome worse. I wonder if im watched in bathroom aswell... oO :lol:
 

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On Stand-by
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759 Posts
LOL an operator that fully knows about its customers
LOL
 

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Coffee Demon
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2,907 Posts
Boltzmann said:
If the conservatives have their way, such future is not that far off. That's why I always support progressive social activism and technology advocacy ;)

BTW, nice text over there :)
Yeah Boltz, but if the liberals have it there way:

Operator: Welcome to Pizza Hut..can I take your order?

Customer: Yes, I would like to order the Super High Fat and Meaty Pizza with the Ultra sopped in Cholesterol Crust. By the way...I will be sueing your franchise because of my obesity problem.

Operator: No problem sir...Would you like our special Underage naked boy dessert? They come with every order of our large pizzas.

Customer: Absolutely........
 

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The Hunter
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15,879 Posts
Hehehe, great stuff!! :lol:

Though I don't think I'll ever try that soybean pizza...
 
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