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My life problem(i need ur help) true story

3384 Views 50 Replies 29 Participants Last post by  Xymet, 
D
MY life problem

I've been thinking of posting this message for so long & now I'm not

hesitated anymore in posting it & I hope you reply to this post by your

opinion & suggestion or any of them. Well the problem i face here is my love

problem i've gone through it with too many shocks, things can't be belived &

am about to complete a year now in this relation & we haven't MET yet .

yes this is first shock here the second one to you too i think it will be

anyway it is that my love is Rinoa of ngemu or higlander of kane's forums,

yes she didn't die as we ALL thought that was the first shock in my relation

with her after 5 days of her fake death news cloud told me that she is still

alive & that she contacted him to tell me a message that she is sorry & at

that time her story was that she was a witness in some big case & she had

to do that so that she be more safe. those 5 days were the most worse in

my whole life & no need to say how was i in them. anyway afterthat she

started to trust me or that what she was saying & she started telling me her

childhood life which wasn't happy at all & i won't say anything about that

cos it is not my right & she trusted me on it or that what i think. afterthat

she started saying a non-sense subject which was that she is not good

enough for me. First time i did understand it & i told her that i dun care

about her past life which was true cos she has nothing to do with it. & that

my love to her is over any other thing in this earth beside am not a perfect

person & i told her honestly all of the bad things in my charcter which she

said that they are very normal & the most big probelm is that she told me

she is very rich after along time of telling each other that we love each,

anyway the problem is that am not the kind of guys who depend on their

wives & i dun like depending on other ppl in big things only generaly,and am

still starting my life. she convinced me that this is nothing & that is not a big

deal & i beleived her & kept going on. After this she promised she will come

to my country she gave me a date then she get a new story & excused &

gave me another date after another month & then another excuse & i

haven't met her till now. anyway from about 4 or 5 months she came to my

country & she talked to me on the phone & set a meet. i was flying in the

sky this time i waited with cloud & another freind for her to come for 3 hours

in the cold & nothing so we left & that night she came online & apologized &

i accepted it as usual. then an imaginary all i can say it can be a good

action movie i won't talk about it for same reason i stated before & guess

what i beleived it & lived all it's hard days till it ended. after that from about

3 months she disappered for more than a month i tried to contact her. she

gave me her home tel. no. & she told me her mail password from a very long

time before that. i couldn't talk to her through the phone bec. i dun have

much money for it so i tried to get into her mail using the password to get

the first shock that she changed the password (she knows my old password

too) anyway i started to get suspicious cos i was mailing her more than 3

times a day without any reply i was very worried so i got onto her mail to

get the big shock, she was recieving my mails & reading them without

replying to me not just that but also adding my mails to spam folder & the

largest shock that time she was supposed to be in my country, i finded out

that she was talking to another guy from england who was welcoming her

back to london.........At this i got so mad & i told bad things about her

everywhere (am not happy about that) then she showed up the day i sent

to her that mail saying that i did find that out, she told me another one of

her stories that she wasn't the one who were using the mail & she was in my

country all that time & that this guy is a gay not a normal person lab lab

la....anyway i didn't beleive her but my love to her was over even this so i

did overcome this then she did a stupid thing or that what she acted to do

(am not sure of anything), she commited sucide(overdosed) & thanks to god

she was saved by her brother & uncle. anyway also this was another horrible

week cos as i was told she was in a comma. & the reason for her to do this

is bec. i wasn't trusting her what a reason lol. made me feel guilty all time.

as usual i forgived her & after a short time i faced a big problem in my REAL

life which i was about to be in the streets any second so ofcourse i

contacted all i know for help who can help of them &.....well she

disappeared after that mail too again. in a time i was in need for the help of

any person on earth the most person i love & i trust wasn't there for me.

anyway i dunno why but i wasn't surprised & as usual too i got over that

problem alone with the help of god ofcourse. then she showed up again

saying she is not good enough for me again which was at a very damn time,

cos i was facing a probelm can take my life away another one can destroy

my life & now her too, i was going on with just simple words she says to me

when we talk & really am not trying to maximaize what i was facing cos it

was really horrible & she knows them & i won't talk about them so dun ask

plz. Now she disappeared again from about 2 weeks, thanks to god i got

over the 2 problems one forever another all my choice is to wait more to

solve it & i have no other choices so am waiting. but the problem am writing

all of this to take ur sugestion about is that My stupid heart says to me

keep going on with her she loves you she is just facing problem & my brain

saying she is a big lier playing me but why she is doing that if that is true???

what did i do to deserve that?? I know she will read this so she can reply to

you all to defend herself, there is another member here more than cloud

knows that she is alive i won't say his name so that he has the choice

wether to talk or not, & i know she was talking to him much too. am waiting

patiently for your replies & for this guy if he dun mind & for your's Rinoa.



about me now am recollecting myself again but still can't get her out of my heart.
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E
It's funny, I'm usually a lurker and here I am posting something on this thread, even though it doesn't affect me much.

I did my best to follow that giant paragraph above... it was very difficult to say the least.

From the looks of things it surely seems like she's playing you. Why? Who knows, but I wouldn't put it past her to just ***** with people for no reason, some people just like doing that.

I don't know how old you are but you can't be all that old, and I know emotions run wild and get the best of you when young. Now that you see that she's played you several times, as well as ceased contant several times, it's time to move on. Go out, eat a pizza, play some SNES (emulated of course) and keep your mind on other things.
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D
well thanks for your concern & my age is going to be 20 in some months so yes am not old & she is older than me alittle, anyway i dun care about age at all but thanks for your idea & i already did try to do that & to be honest i tried to love another person to just keep her out of my mind but still thinking of her in anything i do no matter what it is, and also we haven't heard her part of the story yet....i hope she do reply.
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T
Kill yourself. =)

I didn't read any of that, and I won't until you learn how to press Enter. Nor will I feel any sympathy.
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B
I tried to read that HUGE paragraph, but I couldn't stand it. It gave me a headache just to try.
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P
once you edit it using toe enter button then I will read it
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psicomaniaco
What these loosers tried to say is: you put too much text on one paragraph. Its a pain to read this way. And adding some " , " would help too!

Well, anyway. About your problem, In my opinion, we have to ALWAYS separate our real life from the fantasy world. Internet is a fantastic thing, but I think internet is just where the fantasy world is! On the fantasy world, you don't know who is lying, who is telling the truth... What if maybe this forum is full of assassins, guys who are in fact girls, girls that are in fact guys... Its just too risky to bond with someone on the net, when they may be just lying...

Anyway, I think that this girl is actually lying. But this is just my opinion. I think you should do what your heart wants, instead of asking us our opinions. Just do what u think is right! Who knows?? Maybe she is actually NOT playing you...

But here's a recomendation: NEVER make "special" friends on the net. For example, I have many friends here on this forum... But no one is "special" to me. My real special friends are the ones living on the real life... the ones I see everyday... The ones I'm sure are NOT lying! I like everyone on this forum, but I don't wanna bond with anyone here. I don't care if Kaiser is actually a girl named Hanna... I don't care if Kirby is actually an assassin... I would care if they where part of my real life, but they are not! They are just part of the fantasy world!
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O
I've got a few journal entries like that, just one long paragraph. Sometimes I don't want to leave anything out so I keep writing, don't want to lose the emotion either.

Dante Yagami: You can't follow just your heart or just your mind. You've got to find that balance/mix of the two. Otherwise you'll either be over-emotional or over-analytical. IMHO, relating your experience to mine, you're getting played. But that's basing your situation on my past relationships. It is entirely possible that she's got some really bad things going on.

Don't put your full heart into it and proceed with caution. Otherwise you will get hurt if it turns out your mind was right. I know from my past relationships, my heart and mind never agreed.
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D
i edited it, & plz if you dun have sth good to say dun bother yourself by posting.
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KanedA
sounds like she plays with you... but not quite... the best thing you can do is meet her for all costs (from my experience, it's not always makeing something good, but worth trying anyway, since... what has left you?)

as for editing your first post... it's better, but still lacks dots and stuff...)
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I-Chan
Forget about her. She can be lying, and then she's be a *****. Maybe she is telling you the truth, but even so the doubt has already catched your mind. You'll never be able to trust her totally again. Even if everything starts going well now, and everything is fine and dandy, next time something weird happens, you'll distrust her again. You'll get hurt, and probably hurt her as well. So either way, i think it's late for this relationship. As much as you love her, there are times when it's just the moment to put an end to a relationship. And i think you've reached this point.

Besides, follow psicomaniaco's advice. Don't waste your life with someone you can't look to the eyes when she is talking to you. There's so many ****ed up people on the internet, you'be shocked. If you aren't ready for a relationship right now, don't rush it. But try to hang out with your friends, spend some time hitting girls, you know, act as if you were 19, have fun ;) . You are too young to fall into this yet.
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S
Dante, love initially, is not a feeling. It is a verb, which when acted upon evolves into a beautiful feeling, resulting in an unbreakable bond. But as I said, love starts as a verb, if it starts as a feeling...it can't be love.

What I wanna say, or rather ask, is: what tells you that you love her? What is there that makes you think you love her? As I said, love is a verb which means...caring for, looking after and "being there" when the person needs you. Making sure the other person is never sad, making sure the other person is never left without any of his/her requirements. I can't understand how love can START in an electronic way!

I am talking about love in a general way. I don't regard the boy-girl love things too highly, because most of the time the base is very weak and is mostly one sided.

You seem to love her by any definition of the word love. But judge it yourself, does she too love you in the similar way? No one else can judge it. In my case, even if I get a hunch that the other person is ignoring me...even to a certain degree, I'll back off. I'll cut myself off from that person. If that person really does love me, that person will come to me. I wouldn't need to go there. I'll just have to control my emotions.

If you love someone, Set her free... If she comes back, she's yours, If she doesn't, she never was.... ___________________________________________
The New Versions…
Pessimist: If you love someone, Set her free ... If she ever comes back, she's yours, If she doesn't, as expected, she never was...

___________________________________________
Optimist: If you love someone, Set her free ... Don't worry, she will come back.

___________________________________________
Suspicious: If you love someone, Set her free ... If she ever comes back, ask her why.

___________________________________________
Impatient: If you love someone, Set her free ... If she doesn't come back within some time forget her.

___________________________________________
Patient: If you love someone, Set her free ... If she doesn't come back, continue to wait until she comes back ...

___________________________________________
Playful: If you love someone, Set her free ... * If she comes back, and if you love her still, set her free again, repeat *

___________________________________________
C++ Programmer: If(you-love(m_she)) m_she.free() if(m_she == NULL) m_she= new CShe;


___________________________________________
Animal-Rights Activist: If you love someone, Set her free, In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!

___________________________________________
Lawyers: If you love someone, Set her free, Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the Second Amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that...

___________________________________________
Bill Gates : If you love someone, Set her free, If she comes back, I think we can charge her for re-installation fees but tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.

______________________
biologist : If you love someone, Set her free, She'll evolve


(Well, nice to smile even when you're sad 'n sober. So excuse me for the little joke at the end :) )
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Too Momo, Boltz and Player. If you can't read don't post :p . The guy is in a problem and asking for help. Otherwise you can gently refer to his way of writing.

Dante, my Friend. Don't blame your self. Life's bad, but you can make it look bright. Just believe in your self. And I'm sorry I couldn't help then.

Sidenote : Maybe there is another girl right over there (you really know what I'm talking about) .

Last thing : I may swear she was playing with your feelings, but I know she had a kind heart. She did many good things before to you and made you change to better.
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D
thank you very much Kandea , I-chan & all of others who tried to help & very special thanks to syed fawad :). Anythe joke worked ;)way as I think i love her bec. when she was in troubles i was trying to do everything i can to help her as contacting her brothers...who are lol as they said my brothers too now, they have no blood relation with her....an electronic relation to me :p , & cloud the other girl you are talking about I can't think of her like that, yes i do love her but as a sister to me no more i just can't think of her like that.
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Cid Highwind
That's some difficult stuff dude....
(sorry for the reply being late, I was away a weekend :p)

Anyway, I admit I'm the other person who knows Rinoa quite well. And from how I know her, she can be a great friend, willing to help out when someone has troubles, trying to comfort one. Being optimistic about her, it's hard for me to imagine she would be playing with someone to hurt someone.

So far for being soft on her.
From a realistic point of view I'd say you should let her go, if she's not showing you any sign of being alive or something. Cut contact, just leave one space open. An indirect one, such as email, but not an instantmessaging system such as MSN. After all the time, effort and love you put into her, I think it's time to take it a bit more easy, since it's all starting to be a heavy weight on your shoulders. It's time to find out what exactly you mean to her, and how far she is willing to go to show her love. Cause as things are know, I don't think they should go on that way or you will face even more problems when the love grows less. And that's when you will start to get angry because of these situations.

I don't know how you feel about that last part, as it's something drastic, but sometimes certain situations require a hard turn in order not to let yourself go under. You should not become a victim of a crime against yourself, like I was.

I hope this can be of any help. Please know that I don't have any negative feelings towards you or Rinoa. I just hope to help you out with your own feelings :)

Good luck.

ps. If you're doing such a long story again, try to put it in paragraphs like Fawad, I-Chan or psico did, it will really help the readers.
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Im only 11 and have had some likes in my life but come on man! She actually set up a fake death plan? It's really not worth putting up with!
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thanks for the advice Cid, I think i was going to do that & dun worry not going to type such a long pargraph again :p i was just in need to concentrate so i let my hands on the key board. For now i will disappear again for about a month cos of my final exams at coll., & i will be back with a big surprise, i think Samor might share in it :D .
See you all soon guys :wub:
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Kaiser Sigma
This is freaking ridiculous... Cloud, Dante, Cid... you are a bunch of newbies for crying out loud. It makes me laugh to see how gullible you are, it sickens me to see the little self respect some of you have and above all it bothers me to see how you can get so wrapped up on a fantasy world. Whatever her name is I'll limit myself to tell you what I told her once, she is like me we are both good examples of how perverse mankind can be.

You want to know what the best part is though? You are even worse than her in terms of human quality for falling for her... Lord of Darkness you even stalked her on her email account! Of course that I'm a better person than she is... as I don't prey for newbies on the net only on a bar.

Some admin please close this. It's open discussion not a bloody Jerry Springer show where we will have internet couples arguing over some imaginary ****... Lord of Darkness I can't believe I had the bad idea to check this place again. Guess we all end up winning... you get rid of me... I get rid of you.

Oh ya and before you jump to flame me keep in mind two things:
a) I ain't bothering coming back for awhile so forget about me reading whatever you feel you may want to share with me.
and
b) You are doing this the wrong way. You are asking friends for advice. Friends always spoil you, they don't have the guts or the stomach to hurt you by telling you the truth. Go me.
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off topic : Kaiser, Last time you told me that you'll never be bothered with anything i'm in.
you've just proved how it's so hard for you to stop thinking of any way to interfere with me :p .
Btw in open discussions he can say anything he wants. When you ever join NGEmu staff feel free to close all the topics you dislike. (not in my life anyway)

Till then have a nice life with your "annoying wannabe" .

Sidenote : I'm terribly sorry Dante .
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Kaiser Sigma said:
This is freaking ridiculous... Cloud, Dante, Cid... you are a bunch of newbies for crying out loud. It makes me laugh to see how gullible you are, it sickens me to see the little self respect some of you have and above all it bothers me to see how you can get so wrapped up on a fantasy world. Whatever her name is I'll limit myself to tell you what I told her once, she is like me we are both good examples of how perverse mankind can be.

You want to know what the best part is though? You are even worse than her in terms of human quality for falling for her... Lord of Darkness you even stalked her on her email account! Of course that I'm a better person than she is... as I don't prey for newbies on the net only on a bar.

Some admin please close this. It's open discussion not a bloody Jerry Springer show where we will have internet couples arguing over some imaginary ****... Lord of Darkness I can't believe I had the bad idea to check this place again. Guess we all end up winning... you get rid of me... I get rid of you.

Oh ya and before you jump to flame me keep in mind two things:
a) I ain't bothering coming back for awhile so forget about me reading whatever you feel you may want to share with me.
and
b) You are doing this the wrong way. You are asking friends for advice. Friends always spoil you, they don't have the guts or the stomach to hurt you by telling you the truth. Go me.
Click to expand...
lord os heartless, i never asked your opinion cos simply i dun give a **** about it, beside you dun like the post...rest your ass & rest us from your bothering useless & hurtful posts. Is that your aim in life or oh let's say fantasy world.

umm...what a really good aim, good luck with it, beside i asked for freinds help...oops r u 1 of them?????? :nono:
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