[MT]

hey, another of these threads...i'm getting tired of them
Shadow, I think all of we understand what you're feeling... and imho this insecurity is absolutely normal. Just don't get a paranoia with this. I just like comment some things...

You know she likes you a lot, so you don't need to be worried. But when you say that you love her to death... then I think you must review your concepts, and may be a little worried I say this cause I felt this kind of love (but no, wasn't at the situation as yours), and its not good. Love her but be yourself, do not forget about you right? Cause if someday, what all of we hope that does not happen, but unfortunately happens to you two get separated, you'll need to be strong to face the separation and also be independent (I mean independence as you being yourself, you don't depending of her). So see...love is good. but if much becomes poison

About you being her first real BF, thats not a prob. I have a lot of friends that are in the same situation as you, and they're together for a looong time, and they are very happy and she is more experienced than you? good, you can learn a lot of good things. specially cause you two loves each other, so it will be more joyfull to teach/learn new things

DW and Cid: you guys should open a "Love/Emotional Sickness Healing Clinic"
/offtopic: sorry for posting this here, but I think its not a good idea to reopen my thread. Many weeks after all my history, I just like to say that everything normal among me and my friend Laine. My feelings seems to be weakened and I'm on real again, even sometimes falling around and crying for her we're very friends again, and thats it, seems to be ok. THANKS SO MUCH FRIENDS FOR THE HELP! I LOVE YOU ALL! (and be aware for another of my love sickness )

I wish you all the best Shadow
ps. : isn't GF from FF8?

 

[MT]

Oh another thing. I tried to please her by stop talking to other girls. She told me "It's either them or me" and I chose her just to make her happy. Other girls used to tell me that she wanted me to herself and that's what I did. I basically gave her myself. But now that she got me, it feels unfair that she's talking to these other people that I don't know. I don't know what's going on there. She told me if something could happen between those people, that she wouldn't talk to them. Ugh it's just a confusing situation for me and I'm not experienced enough in it.

no needs for this... you may talk to girls and she talks to guys. remember, love her, but be yourself. if you stop to do your things just because her, you won't live YOUR life, but hers
Love no need chains, it gives freedom

 

[MT]

well, sad but better than stay with someone like her
imHo, she was playing so dirty. so you cant have friends, but she may have? its not fair.
It may be a hard moment, may be hurting yet, but don't worry because you have friends here

 

[MT]

You pour all your feelings into someone and you get stabbed in teh back like this?

it happens a lot of times, not only with girlfriends, but with people around you consider with friends... well, I REALLY'd like to say smth about my OWN experience but I never had a situation like yours though never had a serious relationship. what I can say is that this will go away and you'll get better soon

I have never experienced anything like this and I don't ever want to. I can't believe this is happening to me and it feels like a really bad dream. I just wish I could go to sleep and make this go all away.

unfortunately, it happens to every human in this earth
but face up mighty warrior! this loss made you a lot stronger and experienced. you'll know how to handle future situations better than this one
and keep in mind: girls come and go - friends not

 

[MT]

As for the friends thing you said that they don't go. She used to be my best friend in the world so that went out the window.

have you read "i need to talk" thread?
what I can say is: at the moment you start to love a friend, two things may happen: 1st, you two get along as bf/gf, or 2nd, the friendship becomes more 'powerful'. if no one of these things happens, you could be sure that the girl isn't your best friend in the world
and went out the window cause she was your girlfriend not because she was your friend

but I must say that she must be suffering too. She may be having the same thought yours. and probably she'll get a little distant, but there's no need to worry - she needs to think about everything. You have seen that the relationship as bf/gf isn't the best way for you two, so, why you two don't try to start over the friendship again? and again: if she doesn't accept you as friend anymore (what I doubt, since you're very close friends), she does not worth your love as a friend.

of course i'm saying that imho, and I may not imagine what you're really feeling shadow, cause its easy for other person analyze the situation and give guesses. I know its easy to say all of this (and to make these things real are hard), but I really hope this can help you somehow

 

[MT]

I would love to be friends with her again and she said she wouldn't mind but I don't think I can do that right now. I would have to hear about her guy problems or whatever problems with them arises and I would have to hear about stuff that I dont' wanna know. It would be just too painful I think. Maybe with time but not right now. Ugh this is so hard!

this one I can quote and say from my own experience: yeah, take some to you, i understand this is hard cause I faced this some months (months?) ago. heal yourself up, put things in order inside your heart and restart from where you've stopped. also, you don't need to restart your friendship now -as you said, you'll need sometime- and adding to this, just relax and take all the time you need to tame and put reason in your feelings ok? i don't know how old are you, but like me and everyone, more loves will come and go. and maybe you'll find loves that you'll love more than this friend then... be prepared for more chapters!

And do not worry. We are here to help each other


offtopic: btw, thanks for everyone about the "change" topic. I have thought about everything, and life, as always, has proved me last days a lot of things EFace and Gaurav said. I'm sure i'm finding the right way now and I owe this to all you thanks very much guys!

 

[MT]

it'll go away soon.just relax and put your mind to work in something you like.

I doubt she can ever find another guy that loved her like I did so that's the only consolation that I can get from this. I don't wanna be a person full of spite and I won't. I just hope she will realize one day how much I loved her.

Think like this but don't act like it. I mean, we have seen the love you feel for her, its something very beauty and honorable, and I'm sure someday she'll think that she could be more cool to you. But from now and on, don't think about this. it'll just delay the process to mild your feelings. Live your life like before, if not better. Forget this crazy train called love by now and live YOUR life, not hers btw, its on these "walks through the life" is where you find great persons and girlfriends
of course you may want to rest a bit right now. but don't get sad or quiet. you need make noise and live your life again.
and i'm sure that better girls will appear in your life, and also girls that will really deserve your love

*edit: i just have seen your edit now so, do you think it worth to suffer a girl like her? I mean, suffer for love. she's a good friend, but not a good gf
now go have some sleep. g'night!

 

[MT]

Perhaps Miretank will recognize this quote

You will remember the day you crossed my path
Leave me without a guard and you feel my wrath
What you have done to me has made me bitter and cruel
I´ll see that all the hate you spread returns to you, you, back to you…

Women put us in The Cage, don't they?

BTW sounds like I'm taking Cid's advice lol. I've been friends with her for almost two years! It's really hard to break it up like that and I enjoy her presence more than anything.

yeah, don't let THIS break your friendship with her.

Anyway she told me that she doesn't want drama from guys because she has a condtion where if she's in stress, her stomach over produces acid or something and she starts getting sick big time. She's going to have surgery probably for this condition with her gall bladder and they might have to take it out. That's why she broke it up with me though. She didn't want anymore drama because she can't handle. The only way she could break up with me is if she cheated on me because it's too hard for her so she did it. I'm talking to her in the meantime and I guess it's back to the way it used to be in some ways or others. Maybe I'm too understanding or forgiving but I know she's sick all the time because of this so I cut her SOME slack. She still needs to gain my trust and she told me she'll try and do that.

the thing is... stomach problems are bad... I have gastritis... btw I've got this by loving a girl lol... ok, feel sad for her with this, but I'm sure this gastric problem has nothing to do with her cheating

for the other the things you said... man, I'm confused too ^^ but, do you want my most honestly opinion? i know won't be everyone who will agree with me, but I'm saying this cause I defend this position in my real life: after all the things happened, I don't think it will worth to restart again. you may get along together, be happy once again, but you know, something will remain in your memories and these scars may hurt someday again... *IF I WAS YOU* i won't get her again. forget her. forget her as girlfriend, but continue to love her as a good friend (if she deserves it, of course).
But, of course, this is just my inexperienced opinion, and I can't guess what you're feeling about her right now. And there may have cases of couples that, after situation like yours, goes and get a better relationship, better than before. thats up to you my good mate, but here I left my opinion just do what your heart AND MIND says its the better.