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> People in other countries sometimes go out of their
> way to communicate with their English-speaking
> tourists. Here is a list of signs seen around the
> world:
>
> Cocktail lounge, Norway:
> LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
> ____________________________
> At a Budapest zoo:
> PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY
> SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.
> ____________________________
> Doctors office, Rome:
> SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
> ____________________________
> Hotel, Acapulco:
> THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED
> HERE.
> ____________________________
> Booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:
> COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR
> IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.
> ____________________________
> Car rental brochure, Tokyo:
> WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE
> HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE
> STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH
> VIGOUR.
> ____________________________
> Sign in men's rest room in Japan:
> TO STOP LEAK TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT
> ____________________________
> In a Nairobi restaurant:
> CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE
> THE MANAGER.
> ____________________________
> On the grounds of a private school:
> NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.
> ____________________________
> On an Athi River highway:
> TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD
> IS IMPASSABLE.
> ____________________________
> On a poster at Kencom:
> ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.
> ____________________________
> In a City restaurant:
> OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.
> ____________________________
> One of the Mathare buildings:
> MENTAL HEALTH PREVENTION CENTRE.
> ____________________________
> A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
> DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.
> ____________________________
> In a Pumwani maternity ward:
> NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.
> ____________________________
> In a cemetery
> PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY
> BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.
> ____________________________
> Sign in Japanese public bath:
> FOREIGN GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO PULL COCK IN TUB.
> ____________________________
> Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
> GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER
> DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.
> ____________________________
> On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
> OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
> ____________________________
> In a Tokyo bar:
> SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
> ____________________________
> In a Bangkok temple:
> IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF
> DRESSED AS A MAN.
> ____________________________
> Hotel room notice, Chiang-Mai, Thailand:
> PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM.
> ____________________________
> Hotel brochure, Italy:
> THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE.
> IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO
> ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.
> ____________________________
> Hotel lobby, Bucharest:
> THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING
> THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.
> ____________________________
> Hotel elevator, Paris:
> PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.
> ____________________________
> Hotel, Yugoslavia:
> THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB
> OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
> ____________________________
> Hotel, Japan:
> YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE
> CHAMBERMAID.
> ____________________________
> In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian
> Orthodox monastery:
> YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS
> RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE
> BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.
> ____________________________
> Hotel catering to skiers, Austria:
> NOT TO PERAMBULATE THE CORRIDORS IN THE
> HOURS OF REPOSE IN THE BOOTS OF ASCENSION.
> ____________________________
> Taken from a menu, Poland:
> SALAD A FIRM'S OWN MAKE; LIMPID RED BEET SOUP
> WITH CHEESY DUMPLINGS IN THE FORMOF A FINGER; ROASTED
> DUCK LET LOOSE; BEEF RASHERS BEATEN IN THE COUNTRY
> PEOPLE'S FASHION.
> ____________________________
> Supermarket, Hong Kong:
> FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS,
> EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.
> ____________________________
> From the "Soviet Weekly":
> HERE WILL BE A MOSCOW EXHIBITION OF ARTS BY 15,000
> SOVIET REPUBLIC PAINTERS AND SCULPTORS. THESE WERE
> EXECUTED OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS.
> ____________________________
> In an East African newspaper:
> A NEW SWIMMING POOL IS RAPIDLY TAKING SHAPE
> SINCE THE CONTRACTORS HAVE THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR
> WORKERS.
> ____________________________
> Hotel, Vienna:
> IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL
> PORTER.
> ____________________________
> A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
> IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING
> SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN
> AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE
> MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.
> ____________________________
> Hotel, Zurich:
> BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF
> THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT
> THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
> ____________________________
> An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
> TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.
> ____________________________
> A laundry in Rome:
> LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE
> AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
> ____________________________
> Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:
> TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE
> GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.
> ____________________________
> Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
> WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
> ____________________________
> The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
> GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.
> ____________________________
> In a Swiss mountain inn:
> SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM.
> ____________________________
> Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
> WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
> ___________________________
> On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
> IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE
> WELCOME TO IT.
> way to communicate with their English-speaking
> tourists. Here is a list of signs seen around the
> world:
>
> Cocktail lounge, Norway:
> LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
> ____________________________
> At a Budapest zoo:
> PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY
> SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.
> ____________________________
> Doctors office, Rome:
> SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
> ____________________________
> Hotel, Acapulco:
> THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED
> HERE.
> ____________________________
> Booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:
> COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR
> IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.
> ____________________________
> Car rental brochure, Tokyo:
> WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE
> HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE
> STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH
> VIGOUR.
> ____________________________
> Sign in men's rest room in Japan:
> TO STOP LEAK TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT
> ____________________________
> In a Nairobi restaurant:
> CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE
> THE MANAGER.
> ____________________________
> On the grounds of a private school:
> NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.
> ____________________________
> On an Athi River highway:
> TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD
> IS IMPASSABLE.
> ____________________________
> On a poster at Kencom:
> ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.
> ____________________________
> In a City restaurant:
> OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.
> ____________________________
> One of the Mathare buildings:
> MENTAL HEALTH PREVENTION CENTRE.
> ____________________________
> A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
> DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.
> ____________________________
> In a Pumwani maternity ward:
> NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.
> ____________________________
> In a cemetery
> PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY
> BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.
> ____________________________
> Sign in Japanese public bath:
> FOREIGN GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO PULL COCK IN TUB.
> ____________________________
> Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
> GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER
> DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.
> ____________________________
> On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
> OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
> ____________________________
> In a Tokyo bar:
> SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
> ____________________________
> In a Bangkok temple:
> IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF
> DRESSED AS A MAN.
> ____________________________
> Hotel room notice, Chiang-Mai, Thailand:
> PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM.
> ____________________________
> Hotel brochure, Italy:
> THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE.
> IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO
> ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.
> ____________________________
> Hotel lobby, Bucharest:
> THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING
> THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.
> ____________________________
> Hotel elevator, Paris:
> PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.
> ____________________________
> Hotel, Yugoslavia:
> THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB
> OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
> ____________________________
> Hotel, Japan:
> YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE
> CHAMBERMAID.
> ____________________________
> In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian
> Orthodox monastery:
> YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS
> RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE
> BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.
> ____________________________
> Hotel catering to skiers, Austria:
> NOT TO PERAMBULATE THE CORRIDORS IN THE
> HOURS OF REPOSE IN THE BOOTS OF ASCENSION.
> ____________________________
> Taken from a menu, Poland:
> SALAD A FIRM'S OWN MAKE; LIMPID RED BEET SOUP
> WITH CHEESY DUMPLINGS IN THE FORMOF A FINGER; ROASTED
> DUCK LET LOOSE; BEEF RASHERS BEATEN IN THE COUNTRY
> PEOPLE'S FASHION.
> ____________________________
> Supermarket, Hong Kong:
> FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS,
> EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.
> ____________________________
> From the "Soviet Weekly":
> HERE WILL BE A MOSCOW EXHIBITION OF ARTS BY 15,000
> SOVIET REPUBLIC PAINTERS AND SCULPTORS. THESE WERE
> EXECUTED OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS.
> ____________________________
> In an East African newspaper:
> A NEW SWIMMING POOL IS RAPIDLY TAKING SHAPE
> SINCE THE CONTRACTORS HAVE THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR
> WORKERS.
> ____________________________
> Hotel, Vienna:
> IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL
> PORTER.
> ____________________________
> A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
> IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING
> SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN
> AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE
> MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.
> ____________________________
> Hotel, Zurich:
> BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF
> THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT
> THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
> ____________________________
> An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
> TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.
> ____________________________
> A laundry in Rome:
> LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE
> AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
> ____________________________
> Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:
> TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE
> GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.
> ____________________________
> Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
> WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
> ____________________________
> The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
> GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.
> ____________________________
> In a Swiss mountain inn:
> SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM.
> ____________________________
> Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
> WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
> ___________________________
> On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
> IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE
> WELCOME TO IT.