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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
hmm.. well, i don't what exactly to say, but i just know i need to talk. i'm not ok , i'm feeling a little depressed and... oh, i'm sad. my friend is very beauty, she's an excellent person, very kind, oh my.. we were very toghther once, now a bit distant, but i'm worried.. looks like i fell in love for her..
good, while i was feeding dreams. then today, in an extra-class activity about literature, teacher asked about adolescent loves and blah blah, but i need to say i wasn't giving a single bit for the class.. she was in my sight. hmm, after that class, we went to the classroom. as routine in these few days, I get on my chair and stoop over my desk. then I heard a voice - yeh, her voice- asking why I was so sad. then I said that I was sad cause I'm in love for someone I know I have a minimal chance with. she questioned who is this one, but of course (or not?) i did not tell her. then I asked her if she is in love for someone.. yeah.., she is...
then I'm sad, i felt that I need to act like a moron and post this.. even a little time here, I have seen that people here is very kind :) i'm feeling friend of everyone. tell that I have to forget her and how do I make forget.. please...
..and also how to defeat that :cuss2: three headed dragonm on golden sun2, cause on the last head, that stupid dragon fuc* me with that djinnblast and makes me thrash my controller :hdbash:

again, thanks :)
 

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Miretank said:
hmm.. well, i don't what exactly to say, but i just know i need to talk. i'm not ok , i'm feeling a little depressed and... oh, i'm sad. my friend is very beauty, she's an excellent person, very kind, oh my.. we were very toghther once, now a bit distant, but i'm worried.. looks like i fell in love for her..
good, while i was feeding dreams. then today, in an extra-class activity about literature, teacher asked about adolescent loves and blah blah, but i need to say i wasn't giving a single bit for the class.. she was in my sight. hmm, after that class, we went to the classroom. as routine in these few days, I get on my chair and stoop over my desk. then I heard a voice - yeh, her voice- asking why I was so sad. then I said that I was sad cause I'm in love for someone I know I have a minimal chance with. she questioned who is this one, but of course (or not?) i did not tell her. then I asked her if she is in love for someone.. yeah.., she is...
then I'm sad, i felt that I need to act like a moron and post this.. even a little time here, I have seen that people here is very kind :) i'm feeling friend of everyone. tell that I have to forget her and how do I make forget.. please...
..and also how to defeat that :cuss2: three headed dragonm on golden sun2, cause on the last head, that stupid dragon fuc* me with that djinnblast and makes me thrash my controller :hdbash:

again, thanks :)
Hmm, I don't know but I don't see the need to forget her, love is not to possess. If I love a person, I love her whether she loves me or not but maybe it is just me.
 

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Miretank, you should find out who she is in love with because you never know, it might be you. But if she isn't in love with you, you just have to move on because it isn't healthy to stay in love with someone who doesn't love you.
 

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I think it`s maybe you she is in love with... I wonder why she noticed you were sad...and asked you that...And I think it`s because,maybe, she likes you too.
I know how hard it is when the one you love doesn`t love you back...You think that you`ll never be able to love someone ever again...I know because it`s the same with me (well, I only guess she`s in love with someone else, never had the courage to ask her or the heart to withstand the pain)
 

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Whats love anyways? Let me just state my opinion on the matter. Love is nothing more than chemicals hormones and others in your body being activated and nothing more. Love is nothing more than an adaptation in order to reproduce. This thing this feeling humans call love will come and go during your life. The best way to deal with it is to know what it is just another chemically induce feeling nothing more than an adaption of the body.

If you for some reason believe in this thing love tell her you love her. At least this way you will never wonder what if and you will just get over it. I tell you now that you will be in "love" many times and at the end of your life you wont remember it many of those times.
 

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The Hunter
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Cloud Strife 7 said:
I think it`s maybe you she is in love with... I wonder why she noticed you were sad...and asked you that...And I think it`s because,maybe, she likes you too.
I know how hard it is when the one you love doesn`t love you back...You think that you`ll never be able to love someone ever again...I know because it`s the same with me (well, I only guess she`s in love with someone else, never had the courage to ask her or the heart to withstand the pain)
My thoughts exactly. But don't get mad at us if she isn't in love with you :p

I think it might be best to be open to her, it might sound difficult, but I did the same with a girl I know, and it turned out for the best :) Being honest will take away your insecurity, and that's what's killing you. You can stay in doubt for months and find out the hard way she doesn't love you, or you can find out immediately and talk about it as good friends, or even hear she loves you in return (while that feeling might be gone if you wait for a couple of months keeping your secret).

Hannibal said:
Whats love anyways? Let me just state my opinion on the matter. Love is nothing more than chemicals hormones and others in your body being activated and nothing more. Love is nothing more than an adaptation in order to reproduce. This thing this feeling humans call love will come and go during your life. The best way to deal with it is to know what it is just another chemically induce feeling nothing more than an adaption of the body.

If you for some reason believe in this thing love tell her you love her. At least this way you will never wonder what if and you will just get over it. I tell you now that you will be in "love" many times and at the end of your life you wont remember it many of those times.
What are games anyway: A pile of dots put on top of each other each with different colours. Yet your eyes make a complete image and game out of it which you can enjoy.
What are drugs: Perception enhancing chemicals, that might give you good or bad experiences, yet nothing around you changes.

As you can see that kind of thought of yours is correct, but at the same time when you experience the feeling it is something completely different and it's very difficult to think in such a rational way because your feelings tell you otherwise. It might help you in difficult situations like this, but becoming completely numb for emotions just because they are chemical reactions doesn't seem like a good thing to me. Some things you just need to feel/experience, in order to learn from it and use it in a positive way in the future :)
 

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Cid Highwind said:
What are games anyway: A pile of dots put on top of each other each with different colours. Yet your eyes make a complete image and game out of it which you can enjoy.
What are drugs: Perception enhancing chemicals, that might give you good or bad experiences, yet nothing around you changes.

As you can see that kind of thought of yours is correct, but at the same time when you experience the feeling it is something completely different and it's very difficult to think in such a rational way because your feelings tell you otherwise. It might help you in difficult situations like this, but becoming completely numb for emotions just because they are chemical reactions doesn't seem like a good thing to me. Some things you just need to feel/experience, in order to learn from it and use it in a positive way in the future :)
My advice to anyone experiencing emotions is for them not to let those emotions control them . Dont let a moment of passion slave your mind. Dont let a moment of rage fill your heart with anger. Dont let a moment of despair cloud your life. Moderation thats the path to take. Not to be numb but not to be overcome.
 

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NextGenerationGaymulation
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If she noticed you were sad it means she atleast cares about you.... Keep us updated, stories like these are always intressing!
 

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Hey Mire, take some time for yourself and relax. I want you to take a deep breath, and smile about something. You're both friends, and she does care about you and how you feel, otherwise she wouldn't have said anything to you.

The way you present your story really does make it sound like she could well be in love with you, but you're the one living your life, and as a friend of hers you know more than any of us.

If you don't know who it is she loves, you should find out - but don't hope too much that it's you. If you really care about her, you should tell her how you feel. I know love for someone you can't be with is hard, but if you can be patient and true to your friendship with her, and she knows how you feel, then there's always a chance.

You never really know where your life will lead, and sometime down the line you might meet someone else and fall in love. That doesn't mean that you don't still love this girl very much, just that that's how things worked out.

There are no guarantees in life, that's not what life is about. Life is about experiencing all the wonderful things that life has to offer, and working hard to accomplesh your dreams. It's everything that we give from our hearts, and everything that we take in kind.

... well that really just depends on the person, but that's what it is for me. If that's not for you, well, make up your own little reason for life:)

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As for Hannibal, to each his own. Obviously, how a person looks at things has a drastic effect on how they think and feel about them, but frankly - no one who thinks of emotions in terms of chemicals and electrical pulses is ever going to understand how a person feels, how they themselves feel, nor how best to handle a feelings.

Just like someone who thinks about games only in terms of dots being interpereted via a light and eletrical pulses through an array of transistors and other electrical components, and turned into various types of output that travel along wires connected to a cathode ray tube (or optical equivalent) and speakers, as well as recieving pulses of data from long wires or an optical interface connected to a hand-held device designed to respond to depressed plungers that contribute to an alteration of the management of data within the system, is ever going to understand what's so special about videogames to a gamer, nor how a simple variation of dots on a disc can make such a grand impact on the experience of playing a videogame.

Your reply to Cid's post tells me that you suggest thinking of emotions that way as a tool to make emotions easier to control, and that it's important not to let your emotions control you. Well, you're right - it is important not to let your emotions control you, but after a long time of brushing them to the side that way people tend to get so full of emotion-enducing memories that the only way to handle it all is to discount emotions altogether, and be stone and numb. The alternative seems to be nothing short of insanity... I'm not saying it's true of everyone... it's just been my experience with emotions, everyone is different, and so I offer my perspective.

~{SuMgYe}~
 

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Miretank, like many ppl, I've been through practically the same problem.
Actually not, it's been 5 years that it happened to me and I never really moved on,
it's the first love, it's hard when it's one sided. Though, as said above, you should try
to find out who she loves, if it's you then be happy, if not well... kill her BF ;) j/k.
So, if not, you won't feel right, but at least you won't feel as bad as if you are unsure about it. Another advice: if she doesn't love you, don't EVER stay at home, go out,
meet ppl, whatever you can do but being alone, unless you want to be a living zombie just like me. I hope it won't happen.

Though you can still join my "Pessimists' Club" if you want :p
 

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Just try and ask her out hell even 3 times a week,i did that with a girl i really liked,hell she even remebered how many times i asked her out the entire schoolyear even though it never happened.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
thanks, i'm so glad and so thrilled with those kind words. i dont have words to say how happy i am with all of you :) :reallycries:
the post I wrote wasn't the clearer in this world, i should explain better. well, yeah, I'm feeling a thing so deep for her, an intense passion, nothing more or equal love, but don't less than it. Her eyes, smile, walk, talk, serenity, oh my, she enchanted me. We are friends about 2 or 3 years ago, we passed through some discussions, things like it, but always we turned back to regret mistakes and restart our friendship. and now I'm seeing that friendship with her, for me, does not satisfy..

I have said that she told that she is in love with someother person. and not, this one isn't me. first, she asked why I was so sad, then I said that was because I was loving someone. she asked who is this but I did not tell. then I asked her If she is loving (made this to see if at least I could have a chance). she said yes. for a guy she knows times ago, that isn't living in this city, but always comes here to solve business. also said that they're talking almost everyday by phone.
my world fell, silence of sorrow was my better response.
then I came here and wrote all that..

about 1st love, i'm sure it isn't. 2 years ago I really loved, really, a girl. I've lost 20kgs, earned stomach problems and a lot of sick stuff. there wasn't a night where I did not spend in thought with her (not this one in question, other). I did not eat, sleep or get out of home. I was bad. I know I had a chance with her, but in purely words, she was a chick. b*tch. I was loving her even with this, but when she got known I was loving her, she did not even take a word with me, and she got one of my best friends. then I decided to forget her.

Hannibal, I have the same opinion as you, I agree with everything. I feel so ashamed to let be manipulate with such emotions, but what can I do if i'm a merely human? I'm young, weak and fool, I don't think i have so much chance against the thing humans call "love". love is so good- thats why i let the wave of emotion to flow on me- , but at the same time I know it is not good to ride onto feelings. at moment, i'm not giving a **** for anything, I just want to see things go.. straight on future, that I hope i can find the peace, even on death... about games, actually is being the only thing that sustain my reason of life, along with music.

my lasts relationships wasn't the best ones. one of them, which I recall with a lot of homesickness, I was almost murdered by her ex bf. me and that girl were very happy, we've got the right time each other, we were falling in love. but her ex bf, a stubborn, started to threat me saying that she was of him yet, and if I do not get away from her, I could surely die. well, a long story, at the end I finished with her. Now my last bf, she gone away to another city, leaving me in love with her. I fell in depressed state for 3 months, but I got up and started to roam my life again.
now again I'm here, in love for someone I don't have a chance. I dream with her constantly, and I already made another collection of poems about green eyes.. (note: my first love has green eyes, my last bf has g eyes and now this one).

she is my friend and i can't demonstrated that i'm disappointed and frustrated, am i right? :lastdropfalls:
please feel free to comment, you don't know how i'm being helped with all your opinions :)
thanks everyone
 

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damn kid...when you fall for someone you fall hard.
Sometimes you have to be bold youngster. This other man she speaks of is not always there for her. He is only around on occasion, and this just might be a crush she has. If you don't point out that there is someone there all the time (YOU) then she will never see you more then just a friend.

You have to be direct and truthful...tell her how you feel..tell her how you are having emotional troubles being her friend because you love her. If you don't tell her you cannot expect her to know. Keep her focused on you..talk about good times you had together. At least if she knows she will be sensitive to your feelings. If she cannot see you the same way you see her..then you have the choice of either remaining friends or letting her go gently. Its all up to you....

But be warned...it is very hard staying friends with someone you have feelings for..You have to look on as she hooks up with other men, and be forced to listen as she asks you for advice about her relationships (not good)..

anyways..good luck...and know that the best ways to get over someone quickly are to find someone else...or grow to hate the other person
 

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Yes, as Dark Watcher said, be the one that's there for her. That could be what it takes to win her over. But there are other things in play here. This other guy, what kind of history do they have? Depending on how things are between them, will determine how difficult things will be between you and her. I should know as I'm in a similar situation but a bit more complicated.

And yes, it will be very hard being "just friends". You're always going to want more. You're always going to wish you are the other guy. As my boss told me, tell her what you are, what you can offer, and tell her how you feel. Go after what you want in other words. It didn't work for me unfortunately, but I did find out where we stood. And yes, things are very difficult given the things that we've done.

I know what you're thinking. What if... What if I say this and that happens? What if I say that and this happens? Or whatever happens? Don't think about the what ifs. Think about the right here and now. What if you walk out your door tomorrow and get hit by a bus? You can't think about that 'cause anything could happen.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
damn kid...when you fall for someone you fall hard.
thanks for this DW. you just got all my opinion about myself in one phrase. I always fall, and hard.
I fear to get her and tell about what i am feeling. i don't know how she will react. maybe scared or will look at me like a big sister.
Also, I don't like where this situation is coming up too. I don't like forced situations, i mean I would not be happy if someday I'd be with her but just for her pity. and you know... I saw those green eyes shining while telling about the guy her heart likes, the same green eyes I dream everyday to see smile at me everyday, and she saying that the guy loves her so much, also telling me that she likes him- not too much as he likes her, its true.
know, i don't want to perturb her life, i wish all the best to her, i want she happy. If I had a chance to make her happy I could spend all my time to make her dreams true, i i would do anything.. but I would not be happy if just me loves her, and she just feel a little attraction (to do not say pity) for me.
i could really call her for a talk but i'm feeling like weak you know? I'm feeling tired. sick. I fear to hear things from her I know I could not support.
"But should I... try to live this illusion?
Under a moon of joy lighting my way to your body
Fresh winds brings me the heat, my heart is beating quickly
...What is happening with my honour of soldier?"
 

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I've been in the same situation before, in the past. I fell in love with someone, when I was their friend.. only I actually told them about how I felt, and that I had feelings for her. Basically, she told me that she was fine with me having feelings for her, but her heart belonged rightfully to her boyfriend, which is respectable.

I didn't give up on her though -- why should I bother giving up on something I love? I've never been a person to quit that easily. xP I stuck by her anyway, as a friend, and oops -- she eventually opened up to me, that her boyfriend was a bit of an annoyance, and that he was never really there for her, when she needed him. But I was _always_ there for _her_, no matter what. And I didn't even do it intentionally. I was doing it because I loved her.

Long story short; she saw that her boyfriend wasn't good for her, and we decided to give it a go. That's the happy ending for you right there. (Unfortunately, that relationship ended due to.. horrific accidents.)

The moral of the story is: make sure you let your object of affection _know_ you have these feelings, and that they exist! If you don't, then you'll never have a chance. She can only say what this girl said to me -- that she's fine with it, but she belongs to someone else. And that she wants to remain friends with you.
 

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Look, just don't hesitate at all. You've got to be honest about this whole thing. If you can show her you're honest and really care for her, then maybe she'll start to develop feelings. Just becuase she enjoys another guy and wants to like him, that doesn't mean she doesn't have feelings for you. To be honest, very seldom do you realize you're in love until long after you are (speaking only from my own personal experience here). You don't just say, "hey, I want to love you". Usually it starts as friendly care for that other person. Now I don't want to get your hopes up to have this turn out other than what you want it to, but it sounds as though she may have undecided feelings about liking you, but she isn't there yet. So don't rush this, don't worry (I know it's hard) or doubt, but still be honest with not only her, but yourself. I can't speak for certain, but this other guy doesn't seem to be too much for her (I don't know the feelings between them at all, but that''s what I made it out to be).

My take? Be honest. Give this time and just cherish the times you guys have. Don't rub in her face that you're doing so much for her and that she has everything to gain only from this. Let her decide, don't force it, but be completely honest. Let her know you're there for her, tell her (this you may want to wait on, both for her to perhaps gain feelings, and for you to be less depressed) that you have strong feelings of care for her. Help her when needed, and arguably more importantly, be open to her when you need help. You don't just say I think I'm in love with you out of nowhere though. At least I don't see it that way. You get there through being honest. One day, she may just realize not only that you really do care for her, but that she loves you.

I don't know. Everyone's different, and I really hate to give you advice that doesn't work or causes something too uneasy or too early. I only speak of what I know, but I can tell you one thing for certain. Don't hesitate and be honest. Don't just walk up and force these things, but don't doubt or hesitate. Just an excerpt I like that may explain more clearly my garbled thoughts.

"Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love.
The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly;
And the best way to keep love is to give it wings."


Holding it too tightly is not only rushing things, but basically getting all depressed and hesitant about the situation of it (seems to be where you're at). You're reacting and fearing what isn't there yet. Just give this time. Be serious (don't play it as a game), but carefree yet honest. Love isn't easy all of the time, but as they say, to each their own view. I hope from these many views here so far that you can understand something you want to. I will second what Dark Watcher mentioned though. You really fell hard on this one.

Edit:
blueshift said:
I didn't give up on her though -- why should I bother giving up on something I love? I've never been a person to quit that easily. xP I stuck by her anyway, as a friend, and oops -- she eventually opened up to me, that her boyfriend was a bit of an annoyance, and that he was never really there for her, when she needed him. But I was _always_ there for _her_, no matter what. And I didn't even do it intentionally. I was doing it because I loved her.
They added that while I was adding mine. That's kind of (in english) what I was getting at. If you can't understand mine, hopefully that summarization helps.
 

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NextGenerationGaymulation
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(Unfortunately, that relationship ended due to.. horrific accidents.)
That sounds very bad! :( ( I feel sorry for you )

I'm seeing that friendship with her, for me, does not satisfy..
Well, I've been on the other side of this, a friend told me she loved me... and I didn't feel that way about her. We managed to still stay friends though, even if I know she wants more from me, it's not easy at all, but she doesn't regret telling me. In the end I don't think you'll ever regret telling the truth to someone you love, you'll only regret not doing it.
 
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