He he hope I didn't start anything annoying I'm not sure that my favorite joke would go over well in here. Most people I have told it to think it's funny BUT some may not. SO if anyone wants to hear it just PM me and I'll tell you. In the mean time lets see if I can think of one more appropriate for the boards..... hmm ok here's one.....
As a mother was working in the kitchen she was listening to her son playing
with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and
her son say, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now,
cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting
on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."
The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of
language in this house! Now I want you to go to your room and you will stay
there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I
want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with
his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All
passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of
your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope
your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon."
She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask
you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no
smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey
with us today."
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are
pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."
Three mice were sitting at a bar doing shots of whiskey and talking about how tough they were.
The first mouse takes a shot and says "I'm so tough I steal the cheese off mouse traps and then bench press the bar twenty times" He then downs another shot.
The next mouse takes a shot and says "Thats nothin' I sniff rat poison for fun" and then he takes another shot
The third mouse just sits quietly and after two shots he stands up to leave. The first two mice start laughing at him and calling him weakling and the like. The third mouse gets to the door turns around and says "I'm going home to screw the cat"
There are 3 men Pady the irishman, Billy the Scotsman and George the Englishman. They are standing on top of a magic cliff. By jumping from this cliff and crying out there hearts desire they shall land in it. George goes first. He jumps and yells Money and lands in a sea of money. He gathers as much as he can and leaves.
Now Billy jumps, yells women and lands in a sea of beautiful women. He gathers as much as he can then leaves.
Now its pady's turn. he starts to run to the cliff but trips and falls over yelling...