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4,171 Posts
[warning: this user is mentally challenged, and not all of this story might be truth or fiction at the same time]
It was October 2004. I woke up one day in that particular month and was getting ready for work. WHOAH nice boobs there... i hung all night upside down so my balls hung were boobs would hang normally. After getting my balls back down, i get dressed for making pr0n movies, and leave the house. On my way to work, in which i have to travel through zombie hordes with something that looks like a tank and hurts just as much, i just killed a lot of zombies. Next day, i noticed the sun dropped about 1 hour, and the next day, the sun wasn't even above the horizon. The sun shifted more than 2 hours in 2 days. This combined with the evil wind that i felt on the third day made me feel really creepy. Zombies were spawning like mad. I knew even my patented shotgun glove would not kill them all.
So i cried like a baby.
God heard my cries, and made the weather really creepy. Tsunamis to kill zombie hordes. Melting icecaps to kill zombie whales. tornado's to kill zombie yanks. Floods and excessive rains to kill zombies in training. The weather really seemed out of place. In the same time, some big shot was keeping a certain zombie alive. Why he did this, nobody knew. Some conspiracy theorists would see it as an effective way to divert attention from his killing other zombies. :wave:
either way, back to my story. It seems the zombie invasion was over. On top of the piles of undead dead bodies, i claimed victory. Little did i know the final boss would show up... Doctor Phil zombie edition. He immediatly started whining i was a ***** for my family and should go back to normal family life, instead of being fulltime zombie slayer. I almost got suckered into his pace. but then i remembered, i really hate his guts, so let him feel my reasoning called lead. So what happened next? I went to neverland and shot a human... zombies can't be zombiefied anymore. He was quite scary... his nose kept falling off. He stood up so i shot his nose, he started throwing zombie kids at me. I threw his sister at him. He got so scared after seeing her nipple(which isn't all that impressive) he immediatly returned to the grave. :thumb:
Well, i cleansed the west of the zombie invasion, but the middle east was still beyond my reach. And will be too. I oughta start my own task force and make a global zombie killing taskforce. :guitar:
Moral of this story: don't drink too much coffee :evil:
It was October 2004. I woke up one day in that particular month and was getting ready for work. WHOAH nice boobs there... i hung all night upside down so my balls hung were boobs would hang normally. After getting my balls back down, i get dressed for making pr0n movies, and leave the house. On my way to work, in which i have to travel through zombie hordes with something that looks like a tank and hurts just as much, i just killed a lot of zombies. Next day, i noticed the sun dropped about 1 hour, and the next day, the sun wasn't even above the horizon. The sun shifted more than 2 hours in 2 days. This combined with the evil wind that i felt on the third day made me feel really creepy. Zombies were spawning like mad. I knew even my patented shotgun glove would not kill them all.
So i cried like a baby.
God heard my cries, and made the weather really creepy. Tsunamis to kill zombie hordes. Melting icecaps to kill zombie whales. tornado's to kill zombie yanks. Floods and excessive rains to kill zombies in training. The weather really seemed out of place. In the same time, some big shot was keeping a certain zombie alive. Why he did this, nobody knew. Some conspiracy theorists would see it as an effective way to divert attention from his killing other zombies. :wave: either way, back to my story. It seems the zombie invasion was over. On top of the piles of undead dead bodies, i claimed victory. Little did i know the final boss would show up... Doctor Phil zombie edition. He immediatly started whining i was a ***** for my family and should go back to normal family life, instead of being fulltime zombie slayer. I almost got suckered into his pace. but then i remembered, i really hate his guts, so let him feel my reasoning called lead. So what happened next? I went to neverland and shot a human... zombies can't be zombiefied anymore. He was quite scary... his nose kept falling off. He stood up so i shot his nose, he started throwing zombie kids at me. I threw his sister at him. He got so scared after seeing her nipple(which isn't all that impressive) he immediatly returned to the grave. :thumb:
Well, i cleansed the west of the zombie invasion, but the middle east was still beyond my reach. And will be too. I oughta start my own task force and make a global zombie killing taskforce. :guitar:
Moral of this story: don't drink too much coffee :evil:
