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Ok, before I say anything further, I just wanted to say Happy Holidays to whatever holiday you may be celebrating this time of the year and a happy new year while I'm at it. I hope everyone gets what they want whether it be a new car, or peace and quiet (since I'm "old" I don't care but the peace and quiet sounds good!) and enjoys their holiday. I hope I do, but one thing is for sure, I know my cousin won't be having a happy holiday now that he's behind bars. Why, basically because he tells lies on a compulsive level. He's not a bad person because he's had my back for years and even gave me a car, but damn... anyway, here's the story. I'll try to keep it short as possible, but this is one hell of a story. I'm posting it here because I'm hoping that some of you can give me ideas to help him because talking just doesn't work and TBH I don't think jail time would work either.

My cousin Matt... I've known him since 3rd grade (a long ass time) and what I've noticed about him is that there are somethings about him that will never change. Ever since 3rd grade, I noticed that he liked to "clown around" a lot not only in class, but everywhere (i.e. church, grocery stores, his own house of course, on the bus, etc.). Back then I used to laugh, but the older I got, the funny I thought it was. I mean, he did/said some really dumb ass [email protected]#% oO. I don't remember everything he did, but doing stuff like running around harassing girls in the girl's restroom was rather immature if you ask me. Of course he'd mess around with everybody, but I was his main person he'd like to clown around with. I wasn't anywhere near a class clown, but whenever me and Matt were at lunch, on the playground, or on the bus, he'd ask some really goofy ass questions like these:

  • What would you do if you were a giant with spikes on your shoes? Would you step on me? Would you stomp on the lakeland projects? What if they begged you not to? What if they threw a rock at you and laughed?
  • What would you do if the street was made of banana split? Would you eat it all?
  • What would you do if you saw a giant racoon? You'd run? Why?
  • Would you smoke weed for 48 million dollars?
  • <Insert similar stupid ass [email protected]#% here...>

Matt would ask this stuff everyday like it was the funniest [email protected]#% in the world. I never thought it was funny even as a kid, but now that he still asks that same [email protected]#% as a grown ass man? Wtf? But now it's alot worse. He's come up with more [email protected]#% like:

  • What do you think would happen if we had wings on our backs and we flew around a giant frog?
  • Would you hit your sister for 48 million dollars? What if she kicked you in the nuts?
  • I seen a real live pokemon! Do you believe me?
  • Do you think you could beat Goku from DBZ?
  • Would would you do if that piece of chicken started running away from you? Would you chase it?"
  • <Insert more crazy ass [email protected]#% about wrestling and other retarted things about spongebob squarepants>

Matt loves to talk this [email protected]#% over the phone and can do it for hours on end. In order to get him to stop, I have to threaten him to hang up the phone and yell at him saying "You're a grown ass man, stop talking that [email protected]#%ing [email protected]#% nonsense!!!". Does it work? No, he just keeps on going talking nonsense. I usually ignored his calls because he used to call every damn day at all times of the day (i.e. 10pm, 12pm, he didn't give a [email protected]#% about what time it was because he stayed up late all the time like a damn kid) and usually won't answer the door for him when he comes by.

Going out into public is also hard sometimes. His ability to clown never stops and he feels no shame of it. The other day, I was at the bank and Matt was there too. As usual, Matt was acting crazy again. Standing over my shoulder saying [email protected]#% like, "Damn, look at that paycheck! 48 million dollars?!" I tried to pretend I didn't know him. Because of his overwhelming goofyness, I screwed up the transaction. This is one reason why most people don't like hanging around him and exactly why I didn't bring him with me to my company's Christmas party about 2 weeks ago.

The other thing he likes to do is tell lies on a compulsive level. Matt was like this ever since day 1 for some reason. He would do stupid stuff like tap me on the shoulder in complete isolation then have the nerve to say it wasn't him. Wtf? How could anyone fall for that [email protected]#%? You're the only one there... usually little stuff like that get's annoying really fast. Sometimes I'd ask him some random, off-the-wall question, something impossible and he'd always say [email protected]#% like "Yes, I jumped off a building and survived!" As usual, years into adulthood, he still acts the same. Stuff like, "Guess what? [Our 12 year old cousin] Darnel beat me in basketball!", "Why did you dunk on me?", "You can beat the undertaker in a wrestling match" really get's old. I tell him straight up to STFU, but he just laughs harder and talks more ridiculous stuff. :???:

Then he likes to tell compulsive lies for serious [email protected]#% too. For instance, Matt would lie about all kinds of stuff. When his dad died, he left him all kinds of money. I don't think he had as much money as he claimed to, but he would spend his money on stupid [email protected]#% like brand new cars, fancy restaraunts, his gold digging "friends", hotels, a PS3 (back when it was [more] expensive), girls and other stuff. He'd have hundred dollar bills flashing everywhere, and always showing it off. The biggest controversy was with the brand new car. For some reason, Matt bought that brand new car for somewhere around $20,000 USD when he could have had a used car that was much nicer, with leather seats and everything else for $8,000 USD. Matt refused to get it because it had 30,000 miles. Anything with mileage like that, he refused to buy. Stupid... anyway, he claimed to everyone he paid for the car with cash, but he really wrote a bad check (one of many actually) from an old bank account with one of his old statements. When we (his friends and I) confront him, he denies it up and down. I'm supprised he even got the car in the first place without insurance. I asked him about the insurance on the car, and he said he had it. I didn't believe him as usual, but said nothing about it. It was obvious for numerous reasons. One was because he had some dealer plates on the car for over 3 months. You're not supposed to use those for that long. Eventually, you get your plates from the license bureau like everyone else does. How on earth do you drive a brand new car all over the place without insurance and no valid license plates?? It baffles the mind oO. Then started saying, "I'm going to have a new car shipped to me next week". Next week came, no car. Matt said the same damn thing for almost a month. I didn't believe that crap at all. He denies it up and down.

More lies include his apartment. He said his lease was up. No, you got kicked out because after getting fired from your job and pissing away your dad's inheritance, I know you haven't been paying any damn rent. Obvious enough. He's been kicked out of nearly every place he's lived for the dumbest [email protected]#%. After that, he had no place to go but his mom's apartment. One day, Matt comes home from doing whatever, and his mom won't let him in. She says, "Matt, you can come back in when you give back the necklace you stole!" As usual Matt denies that up and down. So he's kicked out of him mom's apartment. Then he moves in with Uncle Blue (right next to me) and I was so mad that I would have to put up with his [email protected]#% more frequently now. Uncle Blue says that Matt would have all kinds of company around when he was gone. I'm sure he did because Matt did that [email protected]#% all the time when his dad died. Another thing he did was call all of his little girlfriends in multiple towns across the state, racking up a huge phone bill, not just there, but at my grandma's house, and his cousin's house as well. He also opened up a cellular phone account with Uncle Blue's credit card. As usual, Matt denies it all even though Uncle Blue showed him the bill he got, and the phone company traced the computer from which he did it from, when he did it, and all of the information was his (except for the credit card) such as the SSN. You can't deny solid evidence...

Eventually, Uncle Blue kicks him out and he moves in with his cousin Shauma. He would call me alot usually when depressed, but at least he would talk less [email protected]#% on the phone. Matt would say dumb stuff like, "Man I can't wait to move to Atlanta, GA." (he has no job at the time), "If I don't get a job soon, I'm going to start going back to the streets.", "I'm so desperate I could rob somebody.", "I haven't taken a shower in 4 days, I feel like killing myself...", "If I don't get 25 dollars to get my coat out of the cleaners, I'll just break in and get it myself...". I tried to explain to him that he's talking stupid and advising him to go to a second hand clothing store and buy a used coat, I even offered to buy it for him, but he would refuse it saying, "No, my dad bought me that coat, you just don't understand...". I understand that you're not thinking strait. Common sense would tell you that going to jail over a coat isn't worth it. Matt never listens to me or anyone else, especially if it's not what he want's to hear. He's used to having the best stuff and refuses to go any lower.

Don't get me started on how he got caught in the crack house. My Aunt had to drag him out of there after his mom told her he was there. He denies it though, and many other people confirm it.

Eventually he starts lying to me about needing money. I eventually catch on it what's going on but before I could put a stop to it, he went to jail.

Yesterday, after giving him $10 USD for an obvious false claim, he decides to rob a grocery store for a can of Arizona Tea, and some 2 liter bottles of Hawaiian punch. I wasn't there when it happened, but last night he said to me how long it's been since he's had Hawaiian Punch "Green Berry Rush" flavour so that's another obvious hint. Matt get's caught, and then knowing he's been caught, decides to open one bottle and drink as much as he can. An employee (or cop, I don't know which one) tries to snatch it away from him, but then Matt punches him, making his situation worse. So now he's in the county jail awaiting trial next month. He tries to call collect to my house in an effort to get one of us (his family/friends) to bail him out, probably me in particular. I'm not going to do it he brought this upon himself for being immature, unwise, and overall ignorant. Besides, I don't have $500 USD laying around to blow like that.

This is what happens when you spoil a kid and that kid refuses to grow up. Now Matt's got no room to complain about having a hard time finding a job because not only does he lie on his applications (especially about his age), but he's got multiple felonies involving robbery, and a possible assault charge. If he does time for it, then oh well, I don't really feel any sympathy for a grown ass man that won't [email protected]#%ing grow up and realize the world doesn't revolve around him because it sure as hell doesn't for me! :mad: I honestly don't know if there are a lot of people like this in the world, but damn, I really hope there isn't :/

Ok, now that that story is over (trust me, I left out alot of details in that story), what would you suggest to do to help someone with problems like this? I'm asking because he's my cousin and I care about him. This makes no sense how someone could be this way. I could understand if he was mentally ill, and maybe he is. Some kind of doctor? Priest? What? Share your thoughts please. Thanks.

shogun.
 

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That is the longest WoT i have EVER seen..
 

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Mhm.
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honestly, i couldnt read all of this yet. its almost midnight and thats a lot of rightingoO buti ot up to the part with the questions and laughed at this one

Would you smoke weed for 48 million dollars?
i'd be rich :p
 

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Heroes Might& Magic Champ
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Thats some messed up cousin you got going there. Did your brother (from another story) and your cousin all have messed up childhoods?
 

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Ya'ver drink Brazilian bold from fkn dunkn donuts!
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That was a good serious read shogun, he really seems to like to goof around. One way to deal with people like that is to either tell them in a calm and controlled voice that this is not the time to goof around and to be saying stupid things, and ask him to just keep it down for the time being. Try to create an environment or an opportunity that you are both comfortable with to muck around with silly hypotheticals and allow him to get the stuff out in that time. He sounds like he just doesn't know when to stop so perhaps creating a time to do it and inform him that he can't do it at other moments like at the bank (but that comment was piss funny). If you can manage to accomplish this and explaining it to him that the clowning around is inappropriate in public but is okay to do in private in small doses then perhaps he will tone it down a little.

As for the more serious aspects of what he has said a doctor might be able to send him in the right direction to get proper help, however I understand that is not the cheapest option. What I can suggest though is that if you are able to, speak to those who are closest with him and see if it reasonable to formulate some objectives with Matt with getting his affairs in order so that he doesn't have to lie. If you are able to create a network of people that will be able to give advice (not just fronting money) and some time to help walk him through some steps to get everything straight and explain to him what you are trying to achieve (in a serious yet friendly manner) then hopefully he will understand. I can sympathize that it is hard to get people to do things that seem to go against their nature, but opening a dialogue with him about what needs to be done may hep him in the long run.

I hope that what I have suggested might be able to help you man.
 

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Wow, you had me hooked through that entire story. Seriously, I wouldn't be surprised if he had a disorder (i'm 3/4 of the way into the medical field so i'm not just saying that). The crack house comment also set off a red light. Sounds like he needs professional help. If he can't differentiate between play time and serious time, that's kind of a big deal as an adult. If jail and a serious talk don't wake him up, just make sure you don't become his next victim...
 

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The one and only
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you gotta let him hit rock bottom before he will start to improve...
 

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Well I suppose you kind just break ties with him since he is your cousin. But seriously, have you considered taking him to a psychiatrist? :)
 

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I know the saying "everyone is born equal", but I honestly believe some people are born without a conscience. And have no fear or understanding of the repercussions of their actions. People like this, most of the time, are virtually unhelpable.

If anything COULD help him, it probably would be a stint in jail.
 

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just go over there and kick his ass, seriously, it would help him to understand why not to punch a cop or an employee over a drink and mabie knock some sence into him, or better yet a hitman, not to kill just to hurt a little bit and he wont know it was you, that is if he gets off of jail of corse btw this is a joke so dont take it to seriously. but yeh the jail should help him.
 

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now blueshogun looks pissed off at his cousin :p.........a long post

i had a cousin of mine with a similar kinda thing........i just neglected him
 

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Blueshogun I read the whole post because I became interested in the symptons your cousin have showed... Look.. If I were you I'd send him to a good psychiatrist.. Your cousin shows symptons of psychosis, he believes so hard in those bull****s he says, and damn, they are far away from any reality.

I have a brother which suffers from psychosis and he used to do every kind of ****. He made the treatment, now he is doing good. I don't know. Your cousin is insane, like my bro, sorry. You should search a specialist before your cousin starts doing some deeper ****. The guy is not OK in the head. Do something before he enters into a major psychotic break.
 

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ADHD, anyone? It REALLY sounds like he has it. A friend of mine also has ADHD, and he is *****ing crazy sometimes. He´s also a BIG TIME liar, he claimed that he would get a hella expensive car at some point, never happened...
 

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yeah, because everyone who acts crazy, is hyper, and lies has ADHD.

no wonder so many kids are ****ed up on prescription drugs.
 

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yeah, because everyone who acts crazy, is hyper, and lies has ADHD.

no wonder so many kids are ****ed up on prescription drugs.
HOLD IT right there, buddy. I have a ton of experience at this. And who the hell gave you the idea that people with ADHD have to take prescription drugs? There are other none-drug treatments. Heard of behavioral treatment? Besides, giving people with ADHD drug treatment, is creating more problems then it solves (For some). I am just going by the signs i have seen, not just my friend, but also many other people over a good amount of years. I also happen to know that many people are misdiagnosed with ADHD, because the doctors have no freaking clue what they are talking about.
 

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Curiously Cheddar
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Wrong place to argue about ADHD.

You mentioned a crack house. Did you ever consider that he's on drugs, and (to an extent at least) doesn't even recollect doing the things he's done? If its the case then rehab seems like the best solution.

If not... a good shrink maybe? Get inside his head... see what's going on in the depths of his mind.
 
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