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Abstinence RULZ!

2773 Views 46 Replies 9 Participants Last post by  F-3582
Check these sites out:


I especially like this quote:

Brianna K.: "Iron Hymen taught me how to use super-effective strategies for just abstaining from natural stuff. And it works so good, that now when I get all old, I'm going to abstain from wrinkles and dying, too!"
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I heard that abstaining from any form of sexual contact can result to major problems such as hormone driven relationships and poor self-esteem.

I would also like to quote Dr James Dobson on his idea about solo sex or masturbation.

I don't believe a loving God would put a raging fire in an immature kid and then damn him for doing what he can't help doing
I'm just waiting for the right girl, one that would say yes.
The first one is a good good site.

Here's one of their "tips":

"Put on five layers of super-baggy clothes, then lock yourself in the closet – along with lots of paper towels for soaking up your urine. While you're there, pray to Christ for guidance – because Jesus hung out with tons of whores, and He never, ever did "it". And why not? So that when He swoops down from heaven in His kickin' white Cadillac Escalade, He'll be able to ID all the sluts and flash-fry them with His laser-beam headlights!"

And the testimonials are great too:

"I joined Sex is for **** after watching girls who put out turn my big brother into a major wuss. By learning to repress my urges, now I can to grow up and be what I always wanted: a prison guard or a priest."
Once again, someone likes to make jokes on any holy symbol :rolleyes:
I wouldn't say that this site makes fun of the religion itself. It just criticises the way it is "celebrated" (or abused) by some dogmatic "organisations" and a government supporting them to get more votes for the next term.
Sometimes you can't tell if sites like these are real or fake with reports like these coming out:

Poll: Religious Devotion High in U.S.
I've to agree with RZetlin. Sometimes you've to look twice before seeing that it's a humor site.
I didn't mean that this site's purpose is to do so. But I dislike these jokes.

*Back to topic* : I liked the "Bully some sissy" one ^^

Edit 1 : And this :p
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cloudvii said:
I didn't mean that this site's purpose is to do so. But I dislike these jokes
Jokes are jokes. If people can even joke about the President, why they can't joke about anything else?
Because If I'm making a joke on the president I'll only be offending him. But if I'm offending any religion, I'm offending entire nations.
And btw, sometimes in non-civilised countries journalists are prisoned for making jokes on the president/king or whatever. So what about ppl who make jokes on God or prophets or any religion ? I'm not asking to prison them ofcourse :p . But I'd like you not to defend them.

And Boltz, plz don't compare the president with Jesus.
I don't see any difference in making jokes about the president or making jokes about god, or whatever. It's all part of our freedom of expression.

Anyway, I don't believe in Jesus, so I don't care about him. I'm more interested in real people, who can really affect my life.

But let us not go off-topic ;)
If you are interested in real ppl. I'm one of them, so plz don't offend me. You have the right to not believe in God. But you don't have the right to insult something I believe in.

Yeah, we better return to topic ^^ . (anyone ?)
Yeah, back on topic: This site changed my life. I won't ever make sex again :p
Boltzman's egocentricity strikes again. :p

Making retard babies out of wedlock, then having to blow my whole allowance on diapers and a stroller instead of XBox games and Snickers.
This one really convinced me to not have pre-marital sex.
@Boltz : Even with me ? What about all your words you said yesterday to me in bed :mad:
j/k ;) . I don't think I'll ever lose interest in sex.

Tip 1 : Sex makes you happy ;)
Tip 2 : Sex can be a replacement for killing life forms.
Tip 3 : Sex is the only word every one can spell :p .
*Extra Scientific tip : Without sex, humans would extinct ^^ .
That site really convinced me that sex is for ****.

Now I only have to join the Boy Scouts :p

Wait a sec, WTF? Join the Boy Scouts? OMG!!WTF!!

No, I’m not going to stop making sex.
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*Extra Scientific tip : Without sex, humans would extinct ^^ .
That would only apply if we still live in the book of genesis. But I really doubt that in present time not having sex would make humans extinct.

artificial insemination anyone?
It produces not very healthy members. And even cloning brings short living creatures.
Even in a very long time interval, the human beings would etinct :( .
In vitro fertilization is a quite safe (albeit expensive) procedure these days.

Anyway, I don’t fear extinction from lack of sex. A nanotechnology world war is one of the worst things that could happen in the not so far future.

But there’s no way I’d join the Boy Scouts :p
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